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Feb 07

It’s time for Mars Sexytime Honourable Mentions. And it’s a score in more ways than one. Scraping the bottom of the Mars barrel, here are three also-rans that, for various reasons, didn’t meet our STRICT AND RIGIDLY ENFORCED GROUND RULES.

Sex Life on the Planet Mars. I can’t find much info on whether this is comedy, sci-fi or maybe even a mystery. But I’m not surprised it’s written by this guy. Somewhere Capt Kirk is getting a boner.

Puts the Martian in M.I.L.F.Click for larger image

A Princess of Mars. Further proof of the benefits of novels losing their copyright and entering the public domain. This is an actual by-the-rules science fiction book cover, but it’s print-on-demand and I didn’t feel like spending a tenner of Tag Wizard’s expense account money to buy a copy.

A Poledancer of MarsClick for larger image

Mars Ho! It’s a Kindle ebook cover. I think it’s also paperback but, since nobody is in a hurry to send that cover in, this will just have to do.

Let's throw a hoedown!Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Thanks to Cyndi-with-an-i, me, and Sir Douglas Quintet for sending these in.

Published 1986, 2008, and 2017

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.44 out of 10)
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Jan 30

The fabric of the cosmos is terryclothClick for larger image of front cover

All the pros go to Milwaukee for their headshotsClick for larger image of back cover

Ripley Comments: I don’t know if the front cover is Good Show Sir worthy. But the back cover is for the Hall of Fame!

Published 1949

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)
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Dec 18

Squids and Nudes: Take 7Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Haven’t we seen this couple before?

Published 1952

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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Dec 17

'...sucking ... told in ... prose ...' -- Publishes WeaklyClick for larger image

The Bookkeeper Comments: Orlando Bloom stars as Legolas Lestat in a new vampire/elf mash-up.

Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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Dec 12

Danger, Adventure and Forbidden Thrills! Major in Archaeology!Click for larger image

Marvin Comments: Caution! Do not stare at idol with remaining eye!

Published 1961

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.17 out of 10)
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Nov 28

'Bad Hair Day: Three Studies' by Cliff NielsenClick for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: When using the General Atomic hair dryer, always start on the low setting.

Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Nov 19

She's dead JimClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: Eros at rock bottom. Now that’s worth a read.

Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.88 out of 10)
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Sep 19

Take your eyes off me girl's booty!Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Our winning (only) entry for Talk Like a Pirate Day! Thanks to Mitch for sending it in.

Published 1953

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.33 out of 10)
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Sep 11

Mars has two moons. Checks out.Click for larger image

Surface of Venus is super hot. Checks out.Click for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday: NEL – ERB – WTF!

Good Show Sir Comments: Synthetic Men Are from Mars, Synthetic Boobs Are from Venus

Published 1972

Thanks to Lulu for sending one in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.82 out of 10)
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Aug 09

Is assTing! a Thing!?Click for larger image

Mosquito Wenzi Comments: Why wouldn’t you wear a gown and high-heels to a sword fight when all the Ting will surely blind your enemies anyway?

Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.45 out of 10)
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