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Oct 23

Starring Vin Diesel as Bobo, the microcephalic, mutant dwarf. Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: The hottie on the right is the mutant Mother of Blades. From the book:
“She faced him, her four calloused hands set firmly on her broad hips. Her eyes were reddened from staring into the furnace in which she heated her metal; sweat ran down her wrinkled face into the sparse gray mustache which disfigured her upper lip, and dripped onto her bare chest…” Spot on, cover artist Patrick Turner.

Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.56 out of 10)
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Oct 19

Don't let looks deceive you... this chair is actually incredibly uncomfortable.Click for full image

Mirrie’s Art Direction: Sci-fi villians must be as campy as possible. Hmmm, maybe give him a chair made of antlers like Jareth from Labyrinth had, and have him wearing a gold suit. 70’s babe on the left of him, sinister chimp-surgeon to the right. And behind them all looms the Angel of Death, looking like if Peter Capaldi played Grandpa Rick.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)
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Oct 13

Is that a space lobster crawling into the hot tub?Click for full image

Young Flandry and his sister-wives, Mormon missionaries to the Terran Empire.

Published 2010

You might remember Flandry from here

and here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)
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Oct 12

I... think I'll stop at the next space station...Click for full image

Billy Awesome Comments: Pull out all the stops.  I want the head of Sturgeon as a devil, floating on an asteroid made partially of humanoid hands and torsos, and partially of a futuristic city that looks like a garbage truck, his hair a naked lady with a peacock feather magic aura, his brow haloed by dollar store xmas tinsel.  I want a topless mermaid riding a unicorn over a chain that secures nothing.  I want an astronaut trying to take a smoke break through his bubble helmet, and a nude baby on a floating cockle shell awestruck by the majesty of it all.  Don’t let me down.  Let’s make some magic!
Published 1964

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.07 out of 10)
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Sep 25

STOP RIDING US NAKED! AHHHHH!Click for full image

Chuffmunky Comments: It’s the 53rd century and pervert aliens from another dimension have turned humans into debauched goblin troglodytes……. About frickin time man!
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.95 out of 10)
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Sep 21

Hey look, it's Roseanne RoseannadannaClick for full image

Bibliomancer’s Comments: “Get your slimy squid tentacles off my cleaning lady. Domestic servants are hard to find!”
Published 1975

The epic wraparound cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.62 out of 10)
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Sep 14

Is that some sort of floating lemon? Man... should have brought my glasses!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Joey liked to imagine the mall girls with Nothing on.
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.54 out of 10)
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Aug 21

Has she stopped looking? I really need to stop sucking in this gut. Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a sexy space princess trying hard not to ogle a slab of beefcake. Have her cleaning out her earwax or something.
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.35 out of 10)
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Aug 18

I think I saw this one on Pimp My RideClick for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: My card must be the Queen of D-Cups.
Published 1987

You might remember this from here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.40 out of 10)
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Jul 08

Aww no fair... she gets an ostrich... all I have is this boring deer!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: They’ve gone to extraordinary lengths here to make sure nothing on this cover makes any sense. I wonder if it as drawn with the same yellow highlighter that the author used to get high while he was writing the book?
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.45 out of 10)
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