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Jun 22

For Crown and Kingdom

46 Comments »

Ok dance team... this is our time to shine!Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: One hot chick with boobs on show and her two angry brothers.
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.55 out of 10)
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Jun 11

The Door Into Fire

25 Comments »

I like how the sword looks like a continuation of his tie! Today I am proud of myself.Click for full UN-LEWIS’ED image!

Frank Comments: I’ll bet there were Others ready to help grab those!
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.95 out of 10)
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Jun 01

Honourable Mentions 10

13 Comments »

Another bank holiday approaches for those in the UK! And also something about celebrating some sort of zombie vampire’s diamond jubilee… so I hear. So we might be taking a break until Wednesday while we sharpen our stakes and resurrect Peter Cushing to stop the foul beast!

So for our honourable mentions we have a collection of books about J. R. R. Tolkien and one about C. S. Lewis. These are simply fantastic and have all been sent in by Missie Kay so a big thanks to her!

Enjoy the covers and if you are benefiting from a long weekend, like me, I hope you enjoy it!

This is why they banned smoking in Bars & Pubs!Click for full image

Missie Comments: That’s not what “high fantasy” means, guys.

Just wait till you see where I keep Boromir!Click for slightly large image

Missie Comments: Not a very clear photo, sorry, but Gandalf and Gollum are on his shoulder, and there’s hobbit in his vest pocket.

Well I broke my back to sit here... I am going to finish this story!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Just hangin’ with some orcs.

Oh please... talk to the hand Troll... Talk to the hand!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Gollum clearly finds J.R.R. more frightening than the giant cave troll staring at him. (back cover of the previous book)

I believe Lewis should step in for Space Sheep at some stage!!!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Bonus cover! C.S. Lewis looks a bit shocked that there’s a naked lady behind him.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.67 out of 10)
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May 21

Flexing the Warp

53 Comments »

I think he's ok... he could do with a few extra penises though.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Look, all I’m saying is I want a women with three boobs on there. It’s every mans dream right? Let’s keep it classy though and make sure she has stars covering her nipples. That way it’s not really smut, it’s… ah forget it, we might as well put our aviator sunglasses on, we’re making nerd porn!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.13 out of 10)
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May 18

The Planet Wizard

30 Comments »

Look dude... this... in no way... is a good replacement horn!Click for full image

Scott B Comments: Only the most evil of wizards would tease his familiar by tying its food to its face, juuuust out of reach.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.18 out of 10)
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Apr 27

Runts of 61 Cygni C

43 Comments »

A fascinating planet... where the women looked like painted eggs kids would make at easter.Click for full UNSHEEPED & UNWHALED image!!

Joachim’s Art Direction: One-eyed sex runts. No other words are necessary….
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.32 out of 10)
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Apr 10

Mutiny in Space

21 Comments »

The tall lady does not look at all impressed with that space ship!Click for full image

Richard Comments: The spaceman in the foreground is both scared and turned on.
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.07 out of 10)
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Mar 13

The Scroll of Man

44 Comments »

PHOAWWWW would you look at those.... uh.. shrubberies!Click for full image

MisterBob’s Art Direction: A priestess with a nice cleavage and a giant bong. Don’t forget the big alien cat (blue with orange spots!)
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.94 out of 10)
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Mar 07

The Book of the Mad

32 Comments »

Unknown to some, King Penguins are respected collectors of fine art.Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a cover that depicts the author’s existential angst and self-loathing. Just kidding! Draw a naked broad with big gazongas on it and call it a day. Ooh, and maybe have a bird squawking at her.
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.43 out of 10)
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Feb 08

Riders of the Winds

28 Comments »

I look suspiciously like the wizard from two days ago...Click for full TOP-SHELF image

Claire’s Art Direction: Hum, riders on the wind. Well obviously lots of wind in a pretty colour, and a rider – I know, a naked chick with body tats. Throw in some standard fantasy stuff, like a castle and a wizard dude et voila!
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.76 out of 10)
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