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Oct 11

In such a rush today! I care a little too much about this site.Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: We don’t want this cover to just jump out at you, we want it to stab you in the eyes with a hot-pink icepick. And our dictionary defines “hermaphrodite” as “bored bloke with major addictions to mousse and Manic Panic”.
Published 1992

Many thanks to Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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Oct 08

I may be freezing and dying of hypothermia... but boy to I look good...Click for full image

Art Direction: We don’t need an artist! Have you seen what I can do with photoshop? Look, I can take this picture of Karen and… BAM… she’s blue! I know, hilarious right? And that’s not it, just cut and paste and… WHAM… she’s in a badly rendered icy landscape looking cold. Stick in the title and oh hold on, why is it behind her arm… Layers? Sounds like witchcraft to me. Finished!
Published 2004

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.25 out of 10)
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Oct 07

Bueno demostracin amigo!Click for full image

Eron Comments: In this cover, we get a fantastic 70’s disco door that leads to ancient Rome and connected by the most realistic rendering of… uh… electricity? … we have a centurion, a queen, a werewolf and, wait for it, a dude in a sombrero.
Published 1996

Many thanks to Eron!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.60 out of 10)
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Oct 04

Your lack of mono-brow distrubs me lizard women.Click for full image

Kevin Comments: yup…
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.80 out of 10)
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Sep 29

HEY! She has the same boots as me...Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: It has dragons. People ride them. Put the woman in a swimsuit even though she’d freeze to death at that altitude. Make the guy look like some kind of alien elf, just to cover both the SF and fantasy genres. And it’s written by a chick, so do the main coloring in shades of lavender and rotting-orchid pink.
Published 1980 (maybe)

Many thanks to the Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.84 out of 10)
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Sep 24

Awesome boobs... give me thirty minutes to take off this stealth Mark VI power armour and then we can....Click for full image

Art Direction: We’ll have the male sitting on an Ikea chair like he’s James Bond with laser guns and space ships. We’ll put him in some sort of spandex suit with knee pads and fob that off as armour. With the girl lets go for nudity but we’ll photoshop in some clothes later. What we really want is, plenty of side boob! Therefore appealing to both genders… right?
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.77 out of 10)
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Sep 23

It's dangerous out there. Take this laser gun, cat and walking cane.Click for full image

Eric Comments: The ironic thing about this one is that the cover depicts an actual portion of the story. Accurately. Really. It is a good book, regardless of how it’s clad.
Published 1986

Many thanks to Eric!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 3.62 out of 10)
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Sep 22

Yes.. I definitely prefer the stomach hatch to the ass one!Click for full image

GK’s Art Direction: Alright, Lem asked us for a giant robot of some sort. Preferably with the ruins of a burning city in the background, perhaps people running in terror, a few puppies being crushed, you know, that sort of thing. Can you do it?
Published 1977

Artist has been listed as two people. I’m unsure which is correct.
Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.00 out of 10)
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Sep 20

Click for full UNCENSORED image

Radiano’s Art Direction
Editor: Okay, the title is Sleepwalker’s World…
Artist: And what you want? An alien in pajamas who walks on a starship in construction? Please!
Editor: Well, no. See, this is a story about a superman-like astronaut in a world where every night everybody but a few elect acts like zombies, and he must stop some ancient conspirator ruled by a giant bug with a baby face with the help of the sister…
Artist: Whoa whoa whoa, too much information! Listen, I’ll put a naked girl on the cover, and maybe something else about the story. Any idea?
Editor: Well, the guy is helped by a super-intelligent lycaon…
Artist: What the hell is a lycaon?
Editor: It’s an african wild dog with Mickey Mouse ears.
Artist:
Editor:
Artist: Uhm, lycaon… lycon… lyon… That’s it! I’ll put a lion head in the corner, Trust me, it will be FABULOUS!!!
Published 1977

I give this two Jim Bowen’s and an Ian Rush!
Thanks to Radiano!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.90 out of 10)
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Sep 15

She doesn't have to be naked. I just thought it would be funny to tell her she had to be.Click for full image

Ashton Comments: Usually when there’s a naked woman on the front of a book it’s to titillate the viewer, but this brave artist went against convention and made the most unappealing cover he could think of.
Published 1989

Many thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.23 out of 10)
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