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Jul 09

Well at least I don't need my suit to 'enhance' my body.Click for full image

Nix Comments: This book is reasonable-if-crappy (it’s a Modesitt, so it has Modesitt’s sole interchangeable plot) and the cover is a pretty good depiction of a scene from the book… but the cover is so badly done it distracted me from reading the book. I’m not even sure what’s wrong with it. Are those bobbleheads or are they actually almost in proportion and merely a horrible example of the dangers of having naturalistic heads and cartoon everything else? I don’t know.
Published 2000

Space pilots are so moody!
Thanks to Nix!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.77 out of 10)
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Jul 05

HORSE KAT TRANZPORTS HOOMAN 2 CASTLE.Click for full image

Liz’s Art Direction: We’d like for you to use some cats on this cover. Not just any old cats no, we want one that is sized up enough to be able to carry a human. In furs. And randomly in the background, give us a horse drawn sled too. Oh, and to illuminate the picture, throw in a random lamp somewhere…and the biggest sickle moon in the world, ever.
Published 2000

Ah Cat travel, the only way to break the speed of light. Or so I have read.
Many thanks to Liz!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.91 out of 10)
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Jul 02

We were just going to kill you mortals, but that does look like good cake...Click for full image

Art Direction: Hilarious escapade? Well then, no one is going to care what we put on there. In fact lets just put everything we can! Including Centaurs, which I hear are the next big thing. And we’ll have giant people with planets for faces! We’ll stop there but wait till you see what I have in mind for the font!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.02 out of 10)
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Jul 01

Lets not kill him, lets see if he digs my Deep Purple riffs first.Click for full image

Don Comments: OK, we’ve seen tons of perms and oodles of mullets on these covers – but I do believe this is the first permed mullet. (Pullet?) Assuming that’s the eponymous Bard whose Tale this is, he’s apparently not the brightest light in the harbor, since he a) agreed to accompany his hairdresser on a thieving expedition from an albino lizard-man (do such things EVER end well?) and b) misunderstood her when she said she wanted him along to carry the loot.
Published 1993

Many thanks to the Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.20 out of 10)
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Jun 29

God dam furry vultures.... wait a second....Click for full image

Jessie Comments: DUDE. GIGANTIC ALBINO KILLER VULTURE. Does anything else need to be said? Does it really matter if there’s anything else in the picture?
Published 1976

Many thanks to Jessie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.98 out of 10)
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Jun 25

I'm sorry my darling, the hair straighteners are dead. We'll need to get a new one.Click for full image

Art Direction: Sometimes I just would love a big hug from a hunky man with some steroid induced muscles. He would hold me while I sit brooding on a stone floor with the epic backdrop of snow covered mountains. So let’s draw that. Except, don’t draw me. Best put some woman there instead.
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.56 out of 10)
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Jun 23

Stop dancing around and help me hide this body!Click for full image

Andy Comments: The art department obviously wanted to cram as much as possible in (even though this is apparently the second novel in a trilogy). I wouldn’t be surprised however if it was an image ripped from the text. I really like the bloke standing on the ear of dragon – it seems to go well with the tag line. The spaceship is supposed to be vivid purple (the first line of the book) but is obviously out-done in the purple stakes by the dragon.
Published 1995

Ah the days of… yellow jeans…
Many thanks to Andy!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.34 out of 10)
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Jun 21

Lets not fight, in fact here. Have my wife.Click for full image

Rose Comments: Let’s see what you have here. We asked for a road…yes, well done. And some people in elf suits. And a really big, really stupid–oh…wow…
Published 1979

Another Heinlein, what fun!
Many thanks to Rose!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.40 out of 10)
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Jun 18

God I need to sit down, I've been carrying my boobs around all day.Click for full image

Liz’s Art Direction: Draw some buxom witch types in tight revealing outfits having a tea party. Throw in a weird muscle bound werewolf creature for good measure and have them all sit / stand around drinking tea out of some china cups. That should do it. Everyone reads these for the stories anyway.
Published 2009

Thanks to Liz and Simon who both sent this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.02 out of 10)
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Jun 10

Susan! Stop posing dramatically and help me catch our dinner!Click for full image

Art Direction: We all know from popular science fiction when one is stranded on a planet we loose clothing. It always ends up with a women in a mere bikini watching a man in a spear fight with some sort of daemon creature. Always! So draw it kinda like Robinson Crusoe… except with more breasts. And aliens.
Published 1983

Thanks to the Legend Dave R!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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