Jan 16
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Alessandra’s Art Direction: I want the main characters looking soulful, or at least sulky. I want the woman on the left missing her frontal lobes, but balance it out with piles of sausage curls on the woman below. Give the woman on the right a freakishly small body and no flesh on her arms, no ribcage, in fact no anatomy at all. Dress them in brightly colored Renaissance fair castoff costumes — don’t forget the purple! Oh, and put in a horse because you do them so well. Make its wings as sloppy as you like; we’re going to cover them with the title anyway.
Published 1978
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Tagged with: A Del Rey Book • Anne McCaffrey • beard-wielding • damsel • Darrell K. Sweet • dude • font problems • horses • robes
May 19
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Matt’s Art Direction: Fabric! I want to see lots of fabric. And hands, lots of dramatically posed hands. And least one bare breast, only you’ll have to conceal the nipple with something. How about a cross?
Published 1994
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Tagged with: Baen Books • Bardic Voices Series • cleavage • damsel • Darrell K. Sweet • dude • font problems • ghosts • headband • jester • magic • Mercedes Lackey • once you see it
Apr 22
It’s that time of the year again where people might just get a longer weekend! And that usually means an honourable mentions but unfortunately I have been pretty ill this week and have been sitting with some soup while watching TV and reading a few books!
Anyway, instead I give you a MisterBOB mega post! He’s sent in enough covers to start a book shop so here’s a few to keep your weekend going! Enjoy your holiday weekend!
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MisterBob Comments: A spaceman looks out his window and sees the face of GOD!
Published 1986
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MisterBOB comments: Please, do not show that teenagers can time travel by putting a plastic bag on their head.
Published 1989
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MisterBOB Comments: A particolored unicorn, so start with where the horn is, as the rest is just a horse…
Published 1987
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Tagged with: Ace Books • Alun Hood • Avon Books • beard-wielding • booties • castle • Darrell K. Sweet • Diana Wynne Jones • dude • evil children • font problems • Jon Decles • Methuen Books • once you see it • space • space ships • space suit • Stephen Leigh • trains • Unicorns! • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF
Feb 22
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Tim Comments: Hot babe fairy queen, standing on slime-mold covered stairway to nowhere. Add in super-wussy fairy dude, you gotta feel for him, they put him in quite possibly the worst costume of all time. And the photo doesn’t do justice to the garishness of the blue background and orange border. And of course lots of different fonts.
Published 1985
Many thanks to Tim!
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Tagged with: Ballantine Books • border • Chronicles of Thomas Covenant • damsel • Darrell K. Sweet • Del Rey Books • dude • font problems • Stephen R. Donaldson
Oct 21
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Kristen Comments: Sorry about the poor quality of the shot…in any case, it looks like the designer decided to throw something from EVERY short story in this collection onto the cover. At least I hope so, because if there were also armed dinosaurs, fighter jets, and authors working on home computers on board the Titanic, history books have been holding out on us.
Published 1988
Wow!
Many thanks to Kristen!
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Tagged with: aeroplanes • Ballantine Books • beard-wielding • bow-tie • Darrell K. Sweet • dinosaur • dude • flying • frickin laser beams • Jack L. Chalker • lizards • WTF
Sep 09
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Jen Comments: This photo doesn’t really do justice to just how wrinkled the man is. But hey, it’s Merlin (I think). He can wear a Godawful headdress and stand in the middle of the ocean if he wants to.
Published 1979
Many thanks to Jen!
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Tagged with: A Del Rey Book • beard-wielding • bird hairdo • cloaks • Darrell K. Sweet • Del Rey Books • dude • H. Warner Munn • magic • merlin • ships • strange creature
Jul 28
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Anders Art Direction: A pack of profoundly stoned giant proboscis monkeys in a garden! Nails in his nostrils! Both of them! Wha’? The cover? Knights and princesses and shit. You know, the usual.
Published 2002
Many thanks to Ander!
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Tagged with: bladed weapons • capes • damsel • Darrell K. Sweet • David Farland • dude • forest • horses • knights • once you see it • piercings • plume • strange creature • The Runelords Series • Unicorns!
Jul 02
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Art Direction: Hilarious escapade? Well then, no one is going to care what we put on there. In fact lets just put everything we can! Including Centaurs, which I hear are the next big thing. And we’ll have giant people with planets for faces! We’ll stop there but wait till you see what I have in mind for the font!
Published 2001
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Tagged with: Centaur! • cleavage • cloaks • damsel • Darrell K. Sweet • dude • font problems • giant birds • glow • magic • magical orbs • once you see it • people with planets for heads • Piers Anthony • planets • robes • strange creature • Tor Books • waistcoat • WTF
Mar 31
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NoiselessPenguin Comments: I tried to make a list of what’s wrong with this cover, and stopped when I realised: EVERYTHING.
Thanks to NoiselessPenguin, I’ve never laughed so much!
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Tagged with: anatomical issues • Ballantine Books • beard-wielding • beast-riding • Darrell K. Sweet • Dave Duncan • dude • Good Show Sir • longbow • muscles • whale
Feb 09
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Oh, I know: I had this strange dream last night, possibly a nightmare. We’ll have a horse, the mare, charging through a book case, transparent like a ghost, into the view of a typical accountant type. Lapels and booze bottles around him, just like real life. Just kidding of course, we’ll have to make him look like he’s washed recently.
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Tagged with: Darrell K. Sweet • horses • magic • Orbit Books • Piers Anthony • potions • tome • WTF • Xanth series
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