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Dec 09

This is my first experiment! Just wait till you see my second one! Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I see it looking like Jurassic Park, only more space-ship-ey.
Published 2006

I don’t have much time this week to go through the rigorous cover selection criteria…
So welcome, to ‘Tom Noir week’!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.97 out of 10)
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Oct 08

Is that a gun or cake? Ah to hell with it... I'm going to shoot...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: With a sinking heart, Brad realized their skin-tight glam-rock outfits would not be an effective disguise in the forest.
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.77 out of 10)
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Aug 06

Looks like I picked the wrong week to... get trapped in the past!!Click for full image

Jaouad Comments: This one is for everybody wondering what happens after the MARCH TO THE SEA.
Published 2002

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.27 out of 10)
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Jul 22

Yes, yes I agree now... you are better with the mohawk... and I am better with a mullet!Click for full image

Christian Comments: This is truly the fantasy of every elementary school boy. Knight in shining armour with laser gun and sword while riding a dinosaur with a mohawk and ankle spikes. Epic.
Published 2002

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.54 out of 10)
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Jun 25

Laser tag... still popular in the time for dragons...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: As the Good Book sayeth, there is a time for dragons and a time for laser-wielding cybernetic space dragons.
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.77 out of 10)
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Jun 05

The real reason the dinosaurs went extinct... we ate them! Then moved onto tomatoes.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Woahhh… yeah that LSD has just kicked in… SECRETARY… take this down. And by secretary I mean you sir, the man in the urinal next to me. A tomato plant… triceratops! What’s that, hand dryer elf? Yes you are right, it wouldn’t be complete unless it was multicoloured!
Published 1980 (also known as ‘A Messiah at the End of Time’)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.70 out of 10)
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May 22

Man servant! Bring my my spare loincloth!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Patrick Comments: The progression from slain beast through the submissive man to the woman serves to accentuate to a striking degree her dominance: her beauty, her haughty and self-satisfied expression, her weapon and last but not least her fantastic norks… Stunning!
Published 1974

You might remember Glory Road from here!
And here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.03 out of 10)
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May 08

Mr Cockroach could only look on in jealousy... he wanted to join that party!Click for full image

Robert N Comments: Strangely enough a terrible cover may actually be the reason to buy it.
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.94 out of 10)
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Mar 07

Sir, this was left in the childrens section again... it's scarying the kids...Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Stuck for something to draw eh? All one has to do is follow the editors rhyme, “Golden chair on which a hunk may sit, dinosaur.” Yeah… it’s not much of a rhyme really. But here’s the twist: it’s in space!
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.53 out of 10)
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Jan 28

After escaping from Captain T-Rex... Nessy made her way to Scotland!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: The smirk on this fellow’s face says, “Underneath this desk, I’m not wearing trousers.” Because when you’re a dinosaur sea-captain with a fancy sash, who’s going to make you?
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.51 out of 10)
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