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Oct 09

She's killing me softly with her song ... killing me softlyClick for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: My name is Bibliomancer. I’m from 2015 in the future. I want a cover with a future-retro Amy Winehouse using a space music ghetto blaster to kill some dudes … and a satyr! Don’t make the art very good. I need it to win a ten-star rating on a website of terrible sci-fi cover art. Why are you looking at me like that?

Published 1961

You might remember this from here

and also here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)
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Sep 16

You moron, when I said wear a rubber on this date, I didn't mean on your headClick for full image

Bibliomancer’s Comments: As Sally dressed up in her new titanium hat she suddenly had second thoughts about agreeing to a blind date with that hunky astronaut’s college roommate.

Published 1961

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.85 out of 10)
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Jul 10

As daemon and Shelia tried on dresses for the demon-ball, Jack was left without the comfort of a husband chair.Click for full image

The Bibliomancer Comments:  “I feel pretty … Oh so pretty … I feel pretty and witty and gay … And I pity … Any Infernal-Demon-From-The-Pit-Of-Hell who isn’t me today!”
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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Sep 10

I love these German electro dance artists...Click for full image

Scott B Comments: I don’t care how far into the future this book is set — there is no way that outfit will ever be in fashion.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.89 out of 10)
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Sep 27

Look... I'm not playing chess until you.. take off those ridiculous butterfly wings for ears!Click for full SINFULLY NAKED image

Elijah’s Art Direction: Seriously, who are we kidding? Just throw some space-tits on there and call it a day.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.77 out of 10)
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Nov 08

Ah the lizard peoples one fear.. their own hands.Click for full image

Don Comments: It’s so embarrassing when Mummy catches you playing dress-up in her things, even if you’re an alligator. Maybe PARTICULARLY if you’re an alligator.
Published 1966

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.07 out of 10)
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