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Jun 14

You may be in a protective bubble, but it doesn't mean you can't see me get naked!Click for full image

E Comments: According to my husband, his dog chewed up the cover of this book. I think the dog was making a statement. Like why the hell are those people sitting in a hollowed-out asteroid?
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.57 out of 10)
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Apr 29

Yep.. that swan is flaming...Click for full image

Zycrow’s Art Direction: No. Dragons are overused. Draw something else. You have one second.
Published 1974

Today the swans fight back against a monarchy who ate them for so long!
Have a great bank holiday weekend!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.64 out of 10)
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Mar 29

: |Click for full image

Cathal’s Art Direction: It’s quite simple. A flaming-winged, bikini-clad woman with a sun for a head, rising out of a lopsided cauldron. And an amazon with a flaming arrow. See if you can make the amazon lopsided too, maybe give her two left legs… Looking good!
Published 1992

Many thanks to Cathal!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.37 out of 10)
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Feb 24

Using this control panel is dangerous. It's already stabbed me in the chest.Click for full image

GK Comments: There must be something a lot more interesting going on to his right.
Published 1986

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.68 out of 10)
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Dec 09

And for your coarse hair we recommend disembodiment and fire!Click for full image

John Comments: There isn’t a joke I could make that would trump the description on the back – “The wife of a powerful figure in CA is found brutally murdered in the couple’s lonely mountain retreat. Wesley Stoneham made certain that all the evidence concerning the murderer of his wife pointed to a nearby hippie community. He had 3 goals in mind: to get rid of his wife, to drive out the hippie commune, and to enhance his own power in the state. He was at the point of achieving them all when Garnna, from the peaceful planet of Zartic finally made contact with Debby, a hippie from the commune, who had problems of her own. Then, Stoneham’s troubles began.” OF COURSE I BOUGHT THIS RIGHT AWAY!
Published 1975

Many thanks to John!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.47 out of 10)
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Sep 17

After working out all day and doing my hair there is nothing more I enjoy than, casting my level 15 summon dragon spell!!!Click for full image

Flip it around and zoom in... people will never know...Click for full image

Art Direction: Kinda like those raunchy romance book covers with real people. Expect with a magical dragon and a hunky wizard waving around his magical staff. Who wouldn’t want to sleep with a guy who dresses like a wizard? Actually… good point… make sure to hire a model.
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.88 out of 10)
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Aug 12

Gorack! Stop making sweet love to my throne and help be kill tiny people!Click for full image

Kevin’s Art Direction
Creative Director:
Ok, so here’s the deal.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: I want hands coming up from the fires of hell begging for tiny people, a big throne or something and possibly some random Greek god-type things laughing it up.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: The boss just saw Iron Eagle and totally dug the font on that one. OH! And he just bought a new helicopter, so if you could throw that in everything will be great.
Published 1987

Amazing find!
Many thanks to Kevin!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.78 out of 10)
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Jul 06

Ohhhh I get it.. no wait what...?Click for full image

Corwin Comments: Where to start… A truly wretched color scheme with a bright pink neon title, two title fonts that go in four different directions. Then the rest of the cover is way too busy including a blue shark, a green sub with pink polka dots, and a man hole cover. And lest we forget, the story has a computerized Ayn Rand as one of its characters.
Published 1998

Flying shark!
Many thanks to Corwin.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Jun 23

Stop dancing around and help me hide this body!Click for full image

Andy Comments: The art department obviously wanted to cram as much as possible in (even though this is apparently the second novel in a trilogy). I wouldn’t be surprised however if it was an image ripped from the text. I really like the bloke standing on the ear of dragon – it seems to go well with the tag line. The spaceship is supposed to be vivid purple (the first line of the book) but is obviously out-done in the purple stakes by the dragon.
Published 1995

Ah the days of… yellow jeans…
Many thanks to Andy!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.34 out of 10)
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Mar 25

No! That isn't how you use chopsticks!Click for full image

What if we go for something that’s kind of a cross between art and an eighties music video? We’ll have flaming eye balls and some women with retro make-up playing with her magical sticks. Then just pack any text at the top and if we can, make it like an ancient scroll banner. Classy.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.69 out of 10)
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