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Mar 05

Tinging in the showerClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: Is there no end to Dwayne Johnson’s ambition?

Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.35 out of 10)
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Mar 01

It's a trap!Click for larger image

Alice Comments: I have no idea what the title is. I have four to choose from. Perhaps it’s “Warren Norwood”

Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Feb 28

Stop suing us. We agree to change the title from 'More Wonder Women'.Click for larger image

Wendy Comments: OK, we’ll let you women do the writing, editing, introduction and notes on just this one book. But we’ll only trust a guy to do the cover art.

Published 1976

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.38 out of 10)
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Feb 20

Bats with headlightsClick for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: Apocalypse Yow.
Published 1964

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Feb 19

Bibliomancer went to Greece and GSS didn’t even get a lousy tau-shirt. But we did get a bunch of terrible Greek book covers. I’ll turn this post (and week) over to him:

I come from Greece bearing gifts! So don’t look a Trojan Horse in the mouth. Athens has a big chain store called “Public” which is a combination of  Barnes & Noble and  Best Buy with a whole large floor of new books in Greek and English. Athens also have a few “charming” used book stores in some of the older neighborhoods. Here’s the inside view of one of them:

View of the headless Greek bookseller

So here are some terrible covers, Greek-style. Sorry, but we will have to skip the authors, cover artists and publication dates. Be kind to Tag Wizard:

Do surfers dream of aquatic sheep?Click for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments:

1. Rising sea levels were not kind to Venice.

 

Browsing Tinder on MarsClick for larger image

2. Who knew Ghandi collected Barbies?

 

Squawk!Click for larger image

3. Black Hawk up, Black Hawk down!

 

I assume Jeremy Cherfas is on the rightClick for larger image

4. Ce n’est pas un primate.

 

Is that you, Grandpa Munster?Click for larger image

5. Dracula in the language Prince Vlad would have understood.

 

Published whenever

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.53 out of 10)
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Feb 15

I call this cocktail the Devil-Fuck-You-FingerClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: The name of that font is “Icing on the Cake” italic.

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.13 out of 10)
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Feb 13

The Heritage of Sha-Na-NaClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: And I looked, and behold a velociraptor: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him in the GSS comments.

Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.42 out of 10)
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Feb 12

Can't get close enough to kiss his lips - blocked by his big noseClick for larger image

 

This guy just dropped a steaming load of bad covers on GSS Admin, so the boss told me to make this “JuanPaul Week”. Register your complaints using the handy “submit” button above. Plus, send in at least four high-quality losers and next week may be all yours! Enjoy! — Tag

JuanPaul Comments: Try pronouncing the author’s last name with a thick and exaggerated Russian accent. It’s good fun.

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.23 out of 10)
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Feb 07

Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!!Click for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: Eeek. A mouse.

Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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Jan 25

What the ffuck?

Click for larger image

Nigel Comments: Pish Posh and Balderdash! Let me finish off this doobie and I’ll conjure up another curious quest tale.
“It was a dark and stormy night …”

Published 1986

GSS Admin: Here’s the original artwork. Can’t find a higher resolution though.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.50 out of 10)
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