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Jul 24

Don't go after her! Those seagulls look mighty dangerous!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: This is taken from an actual photograph of the cover model fleeing Baen Headquarters.
Published 2005

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.03 out of 10)
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Jul 20

Uh oh.. they have lightening! Quickly boys... switch to ragtime! Click for full image

B. Chiclitz Comments: “The hills are alive, With a lightning-laced wormhole, And a phallic bridge to nowhere, And a band from—wha?”
Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.67 out of 10)
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Jun 29

STOP STOP ALREADY... they're already dead!!!Click for full image

Peter T Comments: Not sure how you wear your pants with a tail sticking out…. or how he killed all those creatures with such an erratic gun…. Girl looks nice though….
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.33 out of 10)
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Apr 17

AWESOME! Can I have a go?Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I like to think that this is a heartwarming tale of an unlikely friendship, tragically cut short when Draco sneezes.
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.50 out of 10)
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Apr 10

ALL UR BASES ARE BELONG TO MY PECKS!Click for full glorious image

Tom Noir Comments: America’s Explosive Tomorrow – Where men are men! Except when those men are also cars. And sometimes the car men cover their crotches with hubcaps, cause that’s what car men like, OKAY? What are YOU looking at, buster?? Does this cheese grater belt make by hips look big? Dammit.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.39 out of 10)
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Mar 25

Oppps...Well... that was definitely the wrong button to press!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: There’s a lot going on on this cover, so let me break it down for you: BLAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.08 out of 10)
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Oct 03

I've got the invisible magic carpet steering wheel. Where to?Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth Comments:
“But, I don’t see anything…”
“KEEP GOING, I SAID!”
“Look. Do you even know what a dragon is? Do you know what one looks like…?”
“FASTER!”
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.55 out of 10)
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Sep 29

Next time you are in Paris, why not go on a floating tour!Click for full image

Joachim Comments: 80s cyberpunk covers are generally bad but this one is a special kind of bad…
Published 1990

You might remember this from here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.13 out of 10)
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Sep 03

AH HA! Consider your re-enactment ruined! YEEEEEHAAA!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Once the SCA started doing their reenactments next door the local NRA chapter, it was only a matter of time before trouble started.
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.77 out of 10)
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Jul 21

I'll take it! It comes... with the mannequin... right?Click for full image

Chris Comments: Thought this might be of interest…
Published 1984

You might remember this from here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.19 out of 10)
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