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Feb 07

It’s time for Mars Sexytime Honourable Mentions. And it’s a score in more ways than one. Scraping the bottom of the Mars barrel, here are three also-rans that, for various reasons, didn’t meet our STRICT AND RIGIDLY ENFORCED GROUND RULES.

Sex Life on the Planet Mars. I can’t find much info on whether this is comedy, sci-fi or maybe even a mystery. But I’m not surprised it’s written by this guy. Somewhere Capt Kirk is getting a boner.

Puts the Martian in M.I.L.F.Click for larger image

A Princess of Mars. Further proof of the benefits of novels losing their copyright and entering the public domain. This is an actual by-the-rules science fiction book cover, but it’s print-on-demand and I didn’t feel like spending a tenner of Tag Wizard’s expense account money to buy a copy.

A Poledancer of MarsClick for larger image

Mars Ho! It’s a Kindle ebook cover. I think it’s also paperback but, since nobody is in a hurry to send that cover in, this will just have to do.

Let's throw a hoedown!Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Thanks to Cyndi-with-an-i, me, and Sir Douglas Quintet for sending these in.

Published 1986, 2008, and 2017

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.00 out of 10)
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Feb 04

Podcast of MarsClick for larger image

Malcolm Comments: Lookin’ cool with her fairy devil-pig and her giant Master Lock.

Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.71 out of 10)
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Jan 31

Dreadlock SanctuaryClick for larger image

Ozzy Comments: Geordi La Forge will take any role he can get these days.

Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Jan 24

Jurassic World!Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: The Moon is not a planet.

Published 1978

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.33 out of 10)
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Jan 10

Window washers of the future!Click for larger image

Monty Comments: Those colors.

Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.43 out of 10)
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Dec 17

'...sucking ... told in ... prose ...' -- Publishes WeaklyClick for larger image

The Bookkeeper Comments: Orlando Bloom stars as Legolas Lestat in a new vampire/elf mash-up.

Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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Dec 13

Gateway to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ wherever Click for larger image

Bellatrix Comments: Hey Tag Wizard! Do you have a tag for a belly-dancing tornado?

I have “dancing up a storm”!  – T.W.

Published 1954

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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Dec 12

Danger, Adventure and Forbidden Thrills! Major in Archaeology!Click for larger image

Marvin Comments: Caution! Do not stare at idol with remaining eye!

Published 1961

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.17 out of 10)
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Dec 11

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man-KzinClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Breaking News from Baen Books! Our esteemed colleagues at Baen have released an Advanced e-Reader’s Copy of the latest installment in the wildly popular Man-Kzin Wars series and we’d like to be one of the first to give them all the free publicity they can stand.

Lately we have been made to realize that some of us at Good Show Sir have been a bit harsh on the Baen enterprise (looking at you, ex-Noob 😄 ). Some Baen honchos believe we go too far in featuring so many splendid and, I must admit, VERY COMPETENT WORKS OF ART done by their artist minions on a weblog with the temerity to feature the byline “Only the worst Sci-fi/Fantasy book covers”. C’mon guys, you know that by “terrible” we mean “awesome”. Get on fleek with how the kids are slangin’ these days.

We give a tip-of-the-bowler-hat to today’s featured cover artist Steve Hickman. What can we say but IT IS GOOD ART. Not some Unknown Artist Institute™ knock-off. In fact, one might expect to see this hanging in some tony Soho art gallery, except that, you know, it’s a cat-person portrait and all that. But the talent is there for all to see. He looks so real you can almost smell him!

So anyway people, check out Man-Kzin Wars XV! That’s number XV! If they are numbering them like Super Bowls you know they got to be good. Buy more Baen Books! Our future here at GSS depends on far-sighted publishers like Baen keepin’ the faith.

–GSS Admin

[P.S. to our friends at Baen. Don’t feel that sending us free swag like new books and single-malt whiskey is a violation of our Code of Ethics!]

#BeBest

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Dec 05

Skeezy RiderClick for larger image

Alice Comments Is that you Michael McKean?

Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.40 out of 10)
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