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Aug 27

I'm sorry... you have glowitis! Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: … and radioactive!
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.52 out of 10)
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Jul 31

Next... on Sex in the Snow Crystal Castle of Estabreem!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Sick of the cheesy, over-wrought covers being inflicted on her books by artists, Mercedes Lackey hires a photographer.
Published 2009

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.92 out of 10)
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Jul 12

We may look cheesy... but at least we don't have a theme song by Adele...Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: Gentlemen…perhaps what this cover needs is both a man, and a horse! Yes! And another man with a mullet, showing he doesn’t know how to ride a horse. And… a girl wearing nothing but body paint, standing at the top of a staircase! Because, gentlemen: nobody would otherwise pay money for something a woman has written!
(the senior partners, followed by everyone else in the room, erupt in a perfect storm of applause. The junior copyrighter wipes a tear from his eye)
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.43 out of 10)
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Jun 11

And so, the children avoided being eaten by a dragon... through magical interpretive dance!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Gym class will never be the same again!
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.46 out of 10)
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Jun 06

Space duels... laser gun verses space cherry bomb!Click for full image

Sergio Comments: Here’s a space gladiator about to snatch his colt against an alien scarecrow/ostrich ready to throw his deadly and shiny bowling ball! (With a backdrop of pyramids of course…)
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.55 out of 10)
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May 02

So.. that's how my bed sheets get covered in cat hair!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: So I was drunk in this art gallery and this old wise man turns to me and says, “You know… the frame is probably worth more than the picture!” I was just like, “DUDE, you’ve just blown my mind.” Frames are expensive… we’ll make a fake one… I have an epic border to include. It’ll really round things off… I swear!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.00 out of 10)
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Apr 09

And there is the only corridor my space microlight can actually fit down...Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Imagine the future, my friend… men will be either glowing silver pillars of greatness or riding around on space microlights. Women? Well they’ll be in skintight body suits and stay on their knees all day. Sexist? No not at all, people will look back at this cover and see our predictions as genius! I think…
Published 1958

Many thanks to Joe for sending this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.16 out of 10)
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Mar 21

And so they said goodbye to Mr Crab... as he assended into the heavenly light.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: I need to get into their mindset. What does the public want to see on their book cover… public…. cover…. public… pubic…. GOT IT! Giant floating glowing crab! Maybe a dragon too, but that’s just a background thought!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.03 out of 10)
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Mar 19

These anti-piracy DRM's are getting a little extreme!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Lady, it’s time to get a Macbook Air.
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.65 out of 10)
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Jan 11

Ok so you have the magical one... did you really need to get into the rose bush though?Click for full image

Frank Comments: I suppose I can understand how this got sorted in with the romance paperbacks, just from the color. But this is why I look through theromance paperbacks, so I can rescue the books that need it and put them over in the SF&F section.
Published 2002

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.68 out of 10)
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