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Aug 30

We have here a trio of Honourable Mentions since these are e-books and technically not being photographed sitting in our sweaty hands. But the “publisher” Phoenix Pick informs us that you can own an actual dead-tree book version of the same. The odds are vanishingly small that any book versions of these titles would ever be found in what few book stores still exist. So let’s have our fun with these e-book pix nicked from the Intertubes. I see some vestige of an artist signature on one of these. Go figure. But none of my usual sources gives any hint who they might be. So Unknown Artist Institute it is.

 

Is that you Fairy-Peg?Click for larger image

She came in through the bathroom window ...Click for larger image

I now pronounce you husband and waifClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments:

1. He-man and Cat-in-the-Hat take on flaming Gummi-Bear monster.

2. Stop wearing the chamois, son. I’ve got to dry the car.

3. Don’t think you’re setting a foot outside wearing that strapping outfit!

Published 2012

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.50 out of 10)
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Mar 22

Magazines, franchise books, paper dolls and “non-fiction” occult. We have a potpourri jamboree here for another in our continuing series of Honourable Mentions. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

 

Now add a pinch of PicardClick for larger image

Erik Tollstedt Comments: I want an image of Ernest Hemingway. He should be sitting on a purple couch in outer space. There should be papers flying away from his lap. Also, I’d like to see Ernest Hemingway’s head explode. But not in the normal way. It should explode into several other heads, one of them a sleeping hispanic man, and the other Emperor Ming. And have some sort of purple beam shoot out of his brain too. Yeah, that will convey “creative genius” like nothing else.
Published 1990

 

Laser RhodanClick for larger image

Lillie Awesome Comments: When the party supply store attacks.
Published 1972

 

You look great! Let's head to the sushi barClick for larger image

GSS ex-noob Comments: Why don’t you post more of my covers?
Published 2017

 

Conjure Wife-swappingClick for larger image

Theresa Comments: The satanic black mass orgy happpened so fast that it was just a blur.
Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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Dec 07

Good evening, and welcome to a private showing of three paintings, displayed here for the first time. Each is a collectors’ item in its own way – not because of any special artistic quality, but because each captures on a canvas, and suspends in time and space, a frozen moment of …

OK, that’s just a Rod Serling Night Gallery quote I copped off of IMDB. But here, for your consideration, are three cover submissions that didn’t make the cut. Not because they aren’t terrible. Not because they are based on a franchise. Not because they are parody or comedy. Not because … well, just because …

 

Boob Tube?Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: That 70s Show.
Published 1975

 

I've been hitchhiking for an hour. Why can't I get a ride?Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “Let the Magic Journey begin! Oh crap. Wher’d my ass go?”.
Published 1988

 

 

Sheep!Click for larger image

Maureen Comments: Click all you want. No boobs under the sheep.
Published 1972

 

Oh, and Tag Wizard sent me this racism and dared me to post it. Now you owe me a pint:

Chinese GSS is going to have a shit fitClick for larger image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.83 out of 10)
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Jun 15

It has been a while since we’ve had an Honourable Mention post, so following are some of the recent doozies that didn’t meet our strict, fiercely-enforced rules for cover submissions. Enjoy!

Doctor PooClick for larger image

Leah Comments: I know it’s a tie-in, but this is definitely worthy of an Honorable Mention. That lettering is not actually black, it is bright orange metallic foil. I think it says a great deal that the picture is an accurate depiction of the featured aliens.

 

 

What's keeping the pyramids from falling off?Click for larger image

Leah Comments: Another Honorable-Mention-worthy tie-in. Working title: ‘Attack of the Fifty-Foot Fop’.

 

I just 'chat' myselfCliquez pour enlever le mouton

Joachim Comments: A French cat woman? There’s so much wrong with this cover.

 

 

A screaming comes across my eyesClick for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: I don’t think it’s technically science fiction. But Lordy, is this a bad cover.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.31 out of 10)
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May 01

It’s the awesome month of May! Which can only mean even more honourable mentions!

Found these beauties in a charity shop the other day. Would you read them on a bus? Or try to complete a shiny unicorn puzzle on a bus? I know I would… just for the attention!

Have a great long weekend if you get it! Otherwise, just have a great weekend!

Really... should have bought normal bathroom tiles... Click for full image

What's worse... no head... or a rose head?Click for full image

It's not just sci fi or fantasy that enjoys a naked lady!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

555 pieces of awesomeness!Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)
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Apr 02

Only two honourable mentions for the long Easter weekend! Mainly because I have completely lost track of what’s in my inbox!

Good to be back and posting covers again, thanks to everyone for supporting me through the dark times! You all get a cookie!

HEY! GET OF ME TORTOISE! Click for full image

Piper Comments: It isn’t exactly fantasy/science fiction. It’s psychology. The longer you look the more insane it gets (E.G. Eagle heads in crystals).
Unknown published date

So much awesomeness! Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Unfortunately I never got to play this, I like to think it would be just as epic as the box art.
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.18 out of 10)
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May 23

YES! It’s not only a bank holiday on Monday but the site is working! Woo! That means we can finally do another Honourable Mentions!

Thanks to all of you who constantly checked the site for over a month to see if it was working again! I missed all your comments, though oddly I actually got some work done. Anyway, I’m back to my normal pace now! Till the site breaks again…

Dude... you should get some cream for that or something!Click for full image

Scott W’s Art Direction: Ok, I need me a Ben Franklin, some lecherous 18th century dudes copping feels (or having their feels copped) by busty harlots, and oh yeah, can you possibly have Mr. Hundred Dollar Bill ride in on a cardboard lightning bolt with a pleasantly startled expression on his mug?
Published 1980

Click for full imageNext stop for Kong, the Betty Ford Clinic.

Matt Comments: It wasn’t the airplanes. It was chain smoking that killed the beast.
Published 1977

Click for full imageWatch out! You'll poke someones eye out with those things...

Click for full imageThankfully I travelled first class, so at least I'll get a bacon sandwich on my return from forbidden love!

Ian R Comments: Do you accept old pulp sci-fi magazine covers? I hope you use them, if only because of that… thing on the woman’s neck/shoulder. It looks quite uncomfortable.
Published between 1955 & 1958

BONUS SPECIAL OFFER!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
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Mar 28

Oh yes! It’s the Easter weekend and that can only mean one thing, some honourable mentions! These have been sent in to us and oh boy they are simply amazing!

So enjoy the covers and have an excellent long weekend (if you get one!) And once again thanks to all who send in covers and comment on the site. You gals and guys are all amazing, also you keep my grammar correct and my tags sensible!

Sir, this is not the drink I asked for... I said baby space rocket *napalm* explosion... not 'nuclear'!Click for full image

Tat Wood Comments: it was published in 1970 and tells of all the different ways the Earth will end by 2000 AD (although one would be enough). As we are now a dozen years beyond the Best Before date does it now count as fiction? A bit? Sort of?
Published 1970

Compared with the non-deadly type of dying.Click for full image

Laura Comments: I came across this book in a used book store and I was hoping that the badly-drawn tough old guys would fit on Good Show Sir.
Published 2007

And Zoe was let go from the zoo... even though her show and tell seemed to be a big hit with teenage boys and the over 50's.Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Pass... the bucket.... *bLEUUGHHHHHHHH*Click for… ewww…

Jaouad’s Art Direction: Let’s see… Pynchonesque, Burroughsian, Robert Anton Wilson-like… Oh, I know! Tim from Marketing has a girlfriend who does exotic dancing, right? See if you can get her to pose. Ask her to bring one of her pets. Yes, I know the author will want in on this… I’ll think of something.
Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.00 out of 10)
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Aug 24

Another long weekend to celebrate the UK’s closing of banks! That can only mean one thing here at Good Show Sir… Honourable Mentions! Today we have a nice selection of franchise books that would be otherwise excluded by our iron forged rules.

Hope you enjoy these, I’ve even thrown in a special something at the end. Enjoy your long weekend if you get it and remember, books rule! Support your local bookery.

Screw this... I'm off to where my jacket isn't ripped!Click for full image

No...NOOOO get me away from that title font! NOOO!!Click for full image

Let's slay this dragon my friends... with the methods of performance art!Click for full image

NO no, I said use stealth... not stand out in the open glowing with energy!Click for full image

Bonus CD Cover!! Badly photoshopped accordion player:

Yep, that's where you should play the accordion... away from society!Click for full image

 

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.81 out of 10)
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Jun 01

Another bank holiday approaches for those in the UK! And also something about celebrating some sort of zombie vampire’s diamond jubilee… so I hear. So we might be taking a break until Wednesday while we sharpen our stakes and resurrect Peter Cushing to stop the foul beast!

So for our honourable mentions we have a collection of books about J. R. R. Tolkien and one about C. S. Lewis. These are simply fantastic and have all been sent in by Missie Kay so a big thanks to her!

Enjoy the covers and if you are benefiting from a long weekend, like me, I hope you enjoy it!

This is why they banned smoking in Bars & Pubs!Click for full image

Missie Comments: That’s not what “high fantasy” means, guys.

Just wait till you see where I keep Boromir!Click for slightly large image

Missie Comments: Not a very clear photo, sorry, but Gandalf and Gollum are on his shoulder, and there’s hobbit in his vest pocket.

Well I broke my back to sit here... I am going to finish this story!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Just hangin’ with some orcs.

Oh please... talk to the hand Troll... Talk to the hand!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Gollum clearly finds J.R.R. more frightening than the giant cave troll staring at him. (back cover of the previous book)

I believe Lewis should step in for Space Sheep at some stage!!!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Bonus cover! C.S. Lewis looks a bit shocked that there’s a naked lady behind him.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)
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