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Dec 07

Good evening, and welcome to a private showing of three paintings, displayed here for the first time. Each is a collectors’ item in its own way – not because of any special artistic quality, but because each captures on a canvas, and suspends in time and space, a frozen moment of …

OK, that’s just a Rod Serling Night Gallery quote I copped off of IMDB. But here, for your consideration, are three cover submissions that didn’t make the cut. Not because they aren’t terrible. Not because they are based on a franchise. Not because they are parody or comedy. Not because … well, just because …

 

Boob Tube?Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: That 70s Show.
Published 1975

 

I've been hitchhiking for an hour. Why can't I get a ride?Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “Let the Magic Journey begin! Oh crap. Wher’d my ass go?”.
Published 1988

 

 

Sheep!Click for larger image

Maureen Comments: Click all you want. No boobs under the sheep.
Published 1972

 

Oh, and Tag Wizard sent me this racism and dared me to post it. Now you owe me a pint:

Chinese GSS is going to have a shit fitClick for larger image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.08 out of 10)
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Jun 15

It has been a while since we’ve had an Honourable Mention post, so following are some of the recent doozies that didn’t meet our strict, fiercely-enforced rules for cover submissions. Enjoy!

Doctor PooClick for larger image

Leah Comments: I know it’s a tie-in, but this is definitely worthy of an Honorable Mention. That lettering is not actually black, it is bright orange metallic foil. I think it says a great deal that the picture is an accurate depiction of the featured aliens.

 

 

What's keeping the pyramids from falling off?Click for larger image

Leah Comments: Another Honorable-Mention-worthy tie-in. Working title: ‘Attack of the Fifty-Foot Fop’.

 

I just 'chat' myselfCliquez pour enlever le mouton

Joachim Comments: A French cat woman? There’s so much wrong with this cover.

 

 

A screaming comes across my eyesClick for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: I don’t think it’s technically science fiction. But Lordy, is this a bad cover.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.31 out of 10)
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May 01

It’s the awesome month of May! Which can only mean even more honourable mentions!

Found these beauties in a charity shop the other day. Would you read them on a bus? Or try to complete a shiny unicorn puzzle on a bus? I know I would… just for the attention!

Have a great long weekend if you get it! Otherwise, just have a great weekend!

Really... should have bought normal bathroom tiles... Click for full image

What's worse... no head... or a rose head?Click for full image

It's not just sci fi or fantasy that enjoys a naked lady!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

555 pieces of awesomeness!Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)
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Apr 02

Only two honourable mentions for the long Easter weekend! Mainly because I have completely lost track of what’s in my inbox!

Good to be back and posting covers again, thanks to everyone for supporting me through the dark times! You all get a cookie!

HEY! GET OF ME TORTOISE! Click for full image

Piper Comments: It isn’t exactly fantasy/science fiction. It’s psychology. The longer you look the more insane it gets (E.G. Eagle heads in crystals).
Unknown published date

So much awesomeness! Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Unfortunately I never got to play this, I like to think it would be just as epic as the box art.
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.18 out of 10)
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May 23

YES! It’s not only a bank holiday on Monday but the site is working! Woo! That means we can finally do another Honourable Mentions!

Thanks to all of you who constantly checked the site for over a month to see if it was working again! I missed all your comments, though oddly I actually got some work done. Anyway, I’m back to my normal pace now! Till the site breaks again…

Dude... you should get some cream for that or something!Click for full image

Scott W’s Art Direction: Ok, I need me a Ben Franklin, some lecherous 18th century dudes copping feels (or having their feels copped) by busty harlots, and oh yeah, can you possibly have Mr. Hundred Dollar Bill ride in on a cardboard lightning bolt with a pleasantly startled expression on his mug?
Published 1980

Click for full imageNext stop for Kong, the Betty Ford Clinic.

Matt Comments: It wasn’t the airplanes. It was chain smoking that killed the beast.
Published 1977

Click for full imageWatch out! You'll poke someones eye out with those things...

Click for full imageThankfully I travelled first class, so at least I'll get a bacon sandwich on my return from forbidden love!

Ian R Comments: Do you accept old pulp sci-fi magazine covers? I hope you use them, if only because of that… thing on the woman’s neck/shoulder. It looks quite uncomfortable.
Published between 1955 & 1958

BONUS SPECIAL OFFER!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
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Mar 28

Oh yes! It’s the Easter weekend and that can only mean one thing, some honourable mentions! These have been sent in to us and oh boy they are simply amazing!

So enjoy the covers and have an excellent long weekend (if you get one!) And once again thanks to all who send in covers and comment on the site. You gals and guys are all amazing, also you keep my grammar correct and my tags sensible!

Sir, this is not the drink I asked for... I said baby space rocket *napalm* explosion... not 'nuclear'!Click for full image

Tat Wood Comments: it was published in 1970 and tells of all the different ways the Earth will end by 2000 AD (although one would be enough). As we are now a dozen years beyond the Best Before date does it now count as fiction? A bit? Sort of?
Published 1970

Compared with the non-deadly type of dying.Click for full image

Laura Comments: I came across this book in a used book store and I was hoping that the badly-drawn tough old guys would fit on Good Show Sir.
Published 2007

And Zoe was let go from the zoo... even though her show and tell seemed to be a big hit with teenage boys and the over 50's.Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Pass... the bucket.... *bLEUUGHHHHHHHH*Click for… ewww…

Jaouad’s Art Direction: Let’s see… Pynchonesque, Burroughsian, Robert Anton Wilson-like… Oh, I know! Tim from Marketing has a girlfriend who does exotic dancing, right? See if you can get her to pose. Ask her to bring one of her pets. Yes, I know the author will want in on this… I’ll think of something.
Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.95 out of 10)
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Aug 24

Another long weekend to celebrate the UK’s closing of banks! That can only mean one thing here at Good Show Sir… Honourable Mentions! Today we have a nice selection of franchise books that would be otherwise excluded by our iron forged rules.

Hope you enjoy these, I’ve even thrown in a special something at the end. Enjoy your long weekend if you get it and remember, books rule! Support your local bookery.

Screw this... I'm off to where my jacket isn't ripped!Click for full image

No...NOOOO get me away from that title font! NOOO!!Click for full image

Let's slay this dragon my friends... with the methods of performance art!Click for full image

NO no, I said use stealth... not stand out in the open glowing with energy!Click for full image

Bonus CD Cover!! Badly photoshopped accordion player:

Yep, that's where you should play the accordion... away from society!Click for full image

 

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.81 out of 10)
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Jun 01

Another bank holiday approaches for those in the UK! And also something about celebrating some sort of zombie vampire’s diamond jubilee… so I hear. So we might be taking a break until Wednesday while we sharpen our stakes and resurrect Peter Cushing to stop the foul beast!

So for our honourable mentions we have a collection of books about J. R. R. Tolkien and one about C. S. Lewis. These are simply fantastic and have all been sent in by Missie Kay so a big thanks to her!

Enjoy the covers and if you are benefiting from a long weekend, like me, I hope you enjoy it!

This is why they banned smoking in Bars & Pubs!Click for full image

Missie Comments: That’s not what “high fantasy” means, guys.

Just wait till you see where I keep Boromir!Click for slightly large image

Missie Comments: Not a very clear photo, sorry, but Gandalf and Gollum are on his shoulder, and there’s hobbit in his vest pocket.

Well I broke my back to sit here... I am going to finish this story!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Just hangin’ with some orcs.

Oh please... talk to the hand Troll... Talk to the hand!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Gollum clearly finds J.R.R. more frightening than the giant cave troll staring at him. (back cover of the previous book)

I believe Lewis should step in for Space Sheep at some stage!!!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Bonus cover! C.S. Lewis looks a bit shocked that there’s a naked lady behind him.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)
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Apr 05

Here we are again! It’s been a while for the old honourable mentions but it’s come to that time of year when a can of irn-bru and chocolate is considered an acceptable breakfast!

So if you are having a weekend off I hope you enjoy it and if not… well enjoy these covers that don’t quite make our high standards but we think deserve a special mention.

Have fun!

You don't want to see the new jedi order... It ain't pretty!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: I love Mark Hamill’s pose on this one. It’s got that, “Why are you drawing me?” Look.

Holy Crap Kid, that was one hell of a wind machine!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Well I like these three drawings you’ve done. I know! Lets just put them all together on the cover.

Anyone remember the film Critters?Click for full image

Matthew’s Art Direction: I want the scariest-looking monster that you can think of on the front!

This is my mother. We're very close. Isn't she sweet? And the best thing about her is: she can really take a punch. - What's Up Tiger LilyClick for full image

Stripey Baz Comments: I’m no purveyor of romance novels or indeed Norwegian literature, but I’m pretty sure that it’s not a good thing to have a mutton-chopped blaggard slap a fair maiden across her face. Given the angle that he’s standing at, his body must have twisted like one of those plastic toy action figures…

 

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.16 out of 10)
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Aug 29

Well today is a bank holiday and I completely forgot about it. Almost got up to go to work! Almost…

So for all your enjoyment here is a few covers that I believe make the Honourable Mentions standard! Have a good holiday for those who remembered!

No! I said lets go get tanked... not lets go make ourselves some tank hats that we can't see out of!Click for full image

DarkZlorf Comments: I’m sure I left my tank parked around here?
Published 1979

I'm going to use my magic globe to see how the battle is going, instead of turning around.Click for full image

Completely stolen from the wonderful Awful Library Books, but because the top left is clearly a copy of Keith Parkinson’s Dragons of War, I thought it too good not to mention! Thanks to John for letting me know about it!

Paper Dolls... more manly than just dolls. Or at least, that's what I told myself.Click for full image

So I found this is in a touristy shop in the wonderful San Diego… paper dolls… what’s with that? Anyway, I had hours of fun recreating all my covers that day!
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.23 out of 10)
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