Mar 12
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A naked man wrestles a lion man – who is wearing a speedo I should point out – on top of a mound of fire. Yes, I did just say that out loud. And I want a huge snake in there, with a collar. And I do mean snake, that’s not a euphemism, but then again nothing to stop us from putting some ass on there too.
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Tagged with: anthropomorphism • Arrow Books • artist in the comments • BEHIND YOU! • dude • fire • Good Show Sir • hunkbutt • lion people • loincloth • Marion Zimmer Bradley • mountains • once you see it • planets • snake • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF
Mar 09
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A collection of fantasy stories? Well I know what they’ll want. A huge barbarian with a ponytail swinging his axe at randomly placed wood. Hmm, you’re right, needs thickened out. Throw a stereotype wizard/fireball combination in there and some damsel with a sword.
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Tagged with: Alan Dean Foster • Andre Norton • ax-wielding • Baen Books • beard-wielding • Bill Fawcett • bladed weapons • bracers • Brian Thomsen • damsel • David Drake • David Weber • dude • Elizabeth Moon • Faux-nan • Jeff Easley • Jody Lynn Nye • loincloth • magic • magical orbs • Mercedes Lackey • Mickey Zucker Reichert • Mike Resnick • Robert Asprin • sword • weird pecs • Wizaaaaaaaard!
Mar 05
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NIPPLES? What’s this obsession with nipples going around at the moment? Well by heck, we will give them so many nipples it will burn their retinas. And semi-naked muscle clad men killing some sort of beast! Now if you thought that wasn’t manly enough, we’ll give them all tashes!
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Tagged with: bladed weapons • dude • Hiero Desteen series • itsh shean connery • loincloth • muscles • Richard Clifton-Dey • Speedos • Sterling E. Lanier • sword • weird delts
Feb 11
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What in the name of Poseidon is this? A naked woman?! Look, we can’t have it go out like that, at least cover her up with something adequate, like a skimpy piece of cloth and some small shells covering a small portion of her cleavage. And have her standing on a chained man, pointing her sword at him. That way, it’s acceptable.
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Tagged with: bladed weapons • cleavage • damsel • dude • John Russell Fearn • loincloth • muscles • sword • Trojan Books • Unknown Artist Institute
Jan 15
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There’s only one thing in this world that can make a muscle infused man in a loincloth and his scantily clad female faint almost instantly. A naked red headed minotaur who is sneezing at them. Just remember, the sure fire way to success, keep the clothes to a minimum!
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Tagged with: bladed weapons • busy hands • cleavage • damsel • dude • inadequate armor • loincloth • Mayflower Books • minotaur • muscles • Thomas Burnett Swann • Unknown Artist Institute
Jan 07
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Most covers only hint at cleavage. Where we will succeed will be in the tactic of placing an actual topless women on the cover! Riding horse back along an alien desert. Oh, and she is being lead by a sort of Apache Indian bloke with an extremely long sword. And yes, I mean a literal sword.
Thanks to Craig!
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Tagged with: bladed weapons • blood • Bob Fowke • cleavage • cloaks • damsel • dude • horses • loincloth • Magnum Books • Philip José Farmer • sword • Tarzan Series • whip it good
Dec 07
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No man – be him a humble farmer from the old country or a tight muscled, loincloth wearing, sword wielding elite barbarian – can resist tackling his snake. So let’s have the loinclothed one waving his swords, standing triumphantly on a snake. Make the colours bright and the expressions memorable.
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Tagged with: beard-wielding • bladed weapons • bracers • Conan series • daggers • dude • John Duillo • L. Sprague De Camp • Lin Carter • lizards • loincloth • muscles • Sphere Books • sword
Nov 04
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I want a man charging into battle on his horse. But instead of a horse, lets just have some five legged reptilian-esque horse creature and let’s not actually have a battle, he can just be charging alone through a desert Mars landscape. Make sure the guy is only wearing a loincloth – who cares about armour as long as your family jewels are comfortable?
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Tagged with: alien city • Barsoom series • Bison Books • dude • Edgar Rice Burroughs • John Carter of Mars series • loincloth • planets • Scott Beachler • strange creature • sword
Oct 20
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What we shouldn’t have is something like ships exploding covering most of the front cover as some four armed goblins fire a cannon. And some blonde women holding her gun as she surveys the scene. Then the title and authors in huge fonts! THEN quotes from reviews just in case we think it’s not busy enough! That’s what we shouldn’t have guys. Right, guys? …Right?
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Tagged with: Baen Books • cannon • Captain March series • damsel • David Weber • explosion • goblins • gun • John Ringo • loincloth • monstrous humanoid • once you see it • Patrick Turner • ships • sword
Oct 15
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Ok, how about this one. I’m just throwing it in there. Guy with sword, guy with gun, guy possibly naked with an american flag wrapped around him, and a guy in uniform.Now, to make sure no-one could think that this accompaniment could be anything but just good friends, make sure the sword guy has a platonic look as he ogles the blonde one.
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Tagged with: awesome foursome • bladed weapons • dude • Edgar Rice Burroughs • gun • loincloth • Moon Sequence series • once you see it • planets • space • spectacular space chart • sword • Thomas Floyd • utility belt
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