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Aug 23

Is that a forearm or turkey drumstick in blond Fabio's fist?Click for larger image

Wendy Comments: Always wear your sports bra when arm wrestling a Roid Warrior.

Published 2000

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.08 out of 10)
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Jul 25

From the makers of Second Life!Click for larger image

JuanPaul Art Direction: Sorry, Marc, but we can’t afford to pay an artist. We’re going to use a screenshot of my kids’ Everquest characters.

Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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Jul 12

From the gates of hell I keep tabs on thee!Click for larger image

Rick Deckard Comments: Oh shit, it’s the wife!

Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.78 out of 10)
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Jun 20

I call this font Circus SansClick for larger image

Malcolm Comments:

Beavis: Why are you laughing?
Butthead: Heh heh. He said “dookie”.

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.46 out of 10)
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May 24

Clique baitClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: “Who’s the handsomest composer in the whole wide world?”
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.14 out of 10)
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May 23

Jeff 'feet are so hard to draw' JonesClick for larger image

Tor Mented Comments: First off, stop swinging the sword. The artist didn’t bother to put in a target for you to hit. Second, bad fake Frazetta is worse than no Frazetta at all.

Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.08 out of 10)
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Jan 31

A tinfoil hat would block those space waves!

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Good Show Sir Comments: “Hey! You! Climb down off the seafood buffet!”

Published 1971

Thanks to Sérgio for sending this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.31 out of 10)
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Dec 07

Good evening, and welcome to a private showing of three paintings, displayed here for the first time. Each is a collectors’ item in its own way – not because of any special artistic quality, but because each captures on a canvas, and suspends in time and space, a frozen moment of …

OK, that’s just a Rod Serling Night Gallery quote I copped off of IMDB. But here, for your consideration, are three cover submissions that didn’t make the cut. Not because they aren’t terrible. Not because they are based on a franchise. Not because they are parody or comedy. Not because … well, just because …

 

Boob Tube?Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: That 70s Show.
Published 1975

 

I've been hitchhiking for an hour. Why can't I get a ride?Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “Let the Magic Journey begin! Oh crap. Wher’d my ass go?”.
Published 1988

 

 

Sheep!Click for larger image

Maureen Comments: Click all you want. No boobs under the sheep.
Published 1972

 

Oh, and Tag Wizard sent me this racism and dared me to post it. Now you owe me a pint:

Chinese GSS is going to have a shit fitClick for larger image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.83 out of 10)
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Sep 20

Calm down Faux-nan. Don't get your knickers in a twist.Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Cover art, suitable for framing, from the artist’s website.
From his biography:
Peter died much too soon but at least he was sitting in a bar with a drink in front of him. There are worse ways to go. At his funeral the vicar said he was probably “getting in the rounds” in heaven. I like to think he’s painting there too … He was intelligent and widely read and a regular member of his local pub’s quiz and cricket teams, though he would say that was mainly for the beer! He died in March 1998 in Skegness while he and some colleagues were working on a mural at Butlins, relaxing in the hotel bar after work.

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.87 out of 10)
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Aug 24

Faces are so hard to paintClick for larger image

Alice Comments: “The sewer’s backed up again. Let me clean up this mess before we do our virgin sacrifice!

Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.50 out of 10)
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