preload
Aug 31

Dressed for disco and riding a two headed dragon! Click for full image

JuanPaul Comments: Hold on to your elf-stones! It’s another cover from the master of shocked expressions and static depictions of action!
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.07 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

May 06

We need an elite team... best get Space Pope!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I know what you’re all saying… “This book doesn’t count! It’s clearly self-published!” Well I found in a legit bookstore, dammit, so I say it counts!
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Mar 14

My lord is not pleased with space sheep covering nudity!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

MisterBob Comments: Is that a dagger i see before me? No Melvyn its a fecking enormous sword – I love it!
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.77 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Nov 11

Jesus, stop changing all the water into wine. Next time turn some into coffee. Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: After a wild night of drinking, God and Jesus fly the Holy Ghost to the emergency room.

Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.72 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Aug 21

Has she stopped looking? I really need to stop sucking in this gut. Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a sexy space princess trying hard not to ogle a slab of beefcake. Have her cleaning out her earwax or something.
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.35 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Sep 29

Next time you are in Paris, why not go on a floating tour!Click for full image

Joachim Comments: 80s cyberpunk covers are generally bad but this one is a special kind of bad…
Published 1990

You might remember this from here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.85 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Sep 01

Well... I certainly hope the warrior within is... better equipped for battle! Cause you look terrible!Click for full image

 

Matt Comments: Check out those shiny pasties!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.55 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jun 02

My ting! Is bigger than your ting!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Time to see who has the biggest TING!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.40 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

May 23

YES! It’s not only a bank holiday on Monday but the site is working! Woo! That means we can finally do another Honourable Mentions!

Thanks to all of you who constantly checked the site for over a month to see if it was working again! I missed all your comments, though oddly I actually got some work done. Anyway, I’m back to my normal pace now! Till the site breaks again…

Dude... you should get some cream for that or something!Click for full image

Scott W’s Art Direction: Ok, I need me a Ben Franklin, some lecherous 18th century dudes copping feels (or having their feels copped) by busty harlots, and oh yeah, can you possibly have Mr. Hundred Dollar Bill ride in on a cardboard lightning bolt with a pleasantly startled expression on his mug?
Published 1980

Click for full imageNext stop for Kong, the Betty Ford Clinic.

Matt Comments: It wasn’t the airplanes. It was chain smoking that killed the beast.
Published 1977

Click for full imageWatch out! You'll poke someones eye out with those things...

Click for full imageThankfully I travelled first class, so at least I'll get a bacon sandwich on my return from forbidden love!

Ian R Comments: Do you accept old pulp sci-fi magazine covers? I hope you use them, if only because of that… thing on the woman’s neck/shoulder. It looks quite uncomfortable.
Published between 1955 & 1958

BONUS SPECIAL OFFER!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Feb 19

If you think I feel bad about getting captured... how do you think the guy climbing up below me feels?Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: Sorry Mr. Burroughs but your first Mars book didn’t sell many copies in our Southern bookstores. Perhaps you need a more menacing villain. Our new cover artist has some fresh ideas.
Published 1952

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: