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Nov 23

So, would you like to get dinner? ....why are you running away? Oh right, forgot I had a sword with me.Click for full image

OH OH OH! Let’s have a half naked man grasping his magic electrified sword around waist height. That sounds suggestive? Of course it is, he’s holding a sword right next to his baby maker. A ha ha ha. Don’t forget to overload the whole cover with text, a lot of text, in all shapes and sizes.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Nov 19

You all seem to be on fire. Here let me put you out with my sword! Ah HAClick for full image

A heavily armoured sword wielding knight on a metal horse attacks some smoking animals. Why are they smoking? For effect my dear boy! And possibly magic. Anyway, make sure those animals are mean! I want red eyes and snarls!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.10 out of 10)
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Nov 18

I'll dagger it, Samuel you can fire magic at it, Dan you sword it... and Liz... uh wave your hands at it.Click for full image

Hmm, putting on our thinking caps here. ‘Servant of the Dragon’ …. Servant …. Dragon… DRAGON.. of course! Lets have a huge scary, bird! It makes complete sense. We’ll have wizards, swords men and damsels fighting it. One word to descibe my idea, epic!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.34 out of 10)
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Nov 16

Gahhhaaa it burns, it burns.... but I look so good....Click for full image

A hunky half-naked muscle encrusted man standing in a strange mist, while casting a magic fireball from his hand. The book’s called flame, so how could we not have one! Though, to go one step further, have him looking thoughtfully at the fire in his hand. That way people will think he’s all sensitive and deep.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.24 out of 10)
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Nov 12

Dang it! My lizard's gone playing with my magic globe and turned me into a wolf again.Click for full image

Now calm down, you heard me correctly. An angry lizard carrying a magical globe on its back which shows a picture of a Victorian lady. A man, with a wolf’s head I might add, stands peering in to the globe has his hand reaches towards it. What’s so strange about that eh?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.19 out of 10)
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Nov 06

Gaaaaaahhhhhh! Your purple robes offend all dragons!Click for full image

A princely boy sits on some ruined steps while a dragon leans downwards in a yawn of sorts. Standing next to them, a white bearded wizard in his long purple robes who is motioning to the sky with other dragons flying gracefully in the sky. No stereotypes here whatsoever … none … zip … nadda … zero… null … uhhh *coughs*

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.80 out of 10)
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Oct 05

I must look so dam awesome right about now!Click for full image

Well, we’ve got the red on there, ’cause of fire being in the title. We’ve got the epic dragon and the merlin esk wizard with his magic orb. But we’re missing something. Something that’s going to make someone pick up the book and think, ‘this is the one.’ Of course!! Surround the title in an awesome gold shiny goodness!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.26 out of 10)
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Sep 07

Hold up boy, I've spotted somewhere I can get more hair gel.Click for full image

Trench coats are really in, so I want a big leather one in there on a guy who looks like he’s right out of Top Gun. Have him walking along with his dog, his shirt tucked neatly into his jeans, carrying a magic sword and the typical explosions in the background. Who’s he kissing? Uh..I guess the dog.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.89 out of 10)
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Sep 04

Dude!!!!! ... you always need to have the vindaloo!Click for full image

OK, spinning my cover creator wheel again! We have… dragons, plural – nice! The dragons are (throwing my action dice)… shitting out fire, awesome! Hmm, they are also… (roll)… carrying… (spin)… a woman in a Persian rug, touch! And in the background this time we will have a….. pyramid… awww just like the books name!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.34 out of 10)
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Sep 03

That frozen dragon sure is hung like a... whale...Click for full image

I was thinking of a beautiful misty icy snow covered landscape with, *cough* , a couple of Eskimos looking upon a dragon frozen in a tower of ice. That’s what I want, what more can I say? …Wait – make it so purple it makes your eyes bleed!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.25 out of 10)
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