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Nov 30

Attack kitten attttaaaaaaaack!Click for full image

Raj’s Art Direction: Hmm, green, let’s go for a green rural idyll, with a giant green flying cat. Oh, and a woman in a green corset and very little else. In fact, make the woman riding the cat, while holding a sword. And that still leaves a little bit of space, why not fill it with a giant moon?
Published 1976

Many thanks to Raj!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.08 out of 10)
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Sep 16

My PHD is in cosmicomics... yes... I did just make that up....Click for full image

Cliftopher’s Art Direction: Give me a dinosaur with a baby’s head. A freakin’ big dinosaur with a really little baby’s head. And while you’re at it put some kind of mountain like a man in the background.
Published 1982

Many thanks to Cliftopher!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.32 out of 10)
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Jul 19

Sorry, I only date guys with gills.Click for full image

Tommi Comments: The blurb on the back translates as: “… Where Sturgeon, LeGuin, Heinlein and Russ where merely scratching the surface in their attempt to appropriately represent human sexuality in Science Fiction, David Gerrold is digging a deep shaft.” No comment, really, apart from, maybe – uuurgh.
Published 1978

Nice speedos!
Many thanks to Tommi!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)
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Jul 15

I will seduce you with my powers of... interpretative dance!Click for full image

Brian’s Art Direction: What makes vampires scary? Exactly: it’s their lack of proportion. It’s their slightly big heads and taste for late-80s haircuts. Imagine a vampiress Bonnie Tyler. Get to it.
Published 1989

Many thanks to Brian!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)
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Mar 16

Yeah, you look great, but your men are getting slaughtered behind you.Click for full image

Eighties cartoons are just fantastic, aren’t they. Wait a second… What if we go for that eighties look? Musclebound guy wearing strange straps which have no benefit and gold bracelets. Holding aloft his magic glowing scepter. No one is going to forget this cover anytime soon!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.24 out of 10)
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Mar 10

Well you know what sucks... my lack of depth perception.Click for full image

Holy crap. We need something to distract from that bright silver font we’re using. So, how about a guy with an eye patch posing with weapons and a women doing the very same thing. Put a moon in the background, and by background I mean most of the cover.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.43 out of 10)
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Feb 01

Uh Larry, that's not my tail you're grabbing.Click for full image

HOLY father of APOLLO! I have it, again! Cat people! Oh alright, we won’t have it just as bad as last time but we should have at least three of them. And some guy with a beard, and an alien city, and purple fonts that burn into your mind.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Oct 02

How in God's name did you squeeze yourself into that space suit, honey?Click for full image

I need sci-fi mixed in with something suggestive! Yeah baby!! I am talking about tight space suits that make you wonder how they ever got into them. Huge racks and huge packs, if you know what I mean! Guns shaped suggestively like a… you know… *giggles* Whatever you do don’t mess it up with something like giving the women a perm. Are you listening to me?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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Aug 20

I hope you know how long it took us to prefect this pose!Click for full image

Look I know it’s unusual but I want an actual lynx. It doesn’t stand up like a human, it doesn’t hold some sort of laser rifle, nor does it appear from a space ship. I just want it pouncing across the cover with a princely guy in a white cape leaping with it, while he grasps his sword. That’s not as cheesy right?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.93 out of 10)
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