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Sep 20

Lucky for me... octopuses don't know how to sword fight! hiyaaaaa! Or do they... oh crap...Click for full image

Art Direction: Man in a thong sword fighting an octopus while two half naked babes watch. My only regret is that only the French people will see this glorious work of art. Maybe someday… someone… somewhere will show this to the masses so they might all say, “Good Show Sir. Good Show!”
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Sep 16

A He-mullet and a cat-suit! You are out done sir alien thing, hand over the weapon! Whatever it may be!Click for full image

Adam S Comments: So this is what He-Man sees when he’s tripping on acid.
Published 1964

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.05 out of 10)
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Aug 17

Space Simon Cowell looks down on alien Elvises!Click for full image

Mike Comments: Elvis is not dead, he’s a four-armed ghost reptile…IN SPACE!
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.98 out of 10)
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Jul 21

Quickly ghosts! Go for his lapels!Click for full image

Adam Comments: Backstage at an Alice Cooper concert.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.68 out of 10)
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Apr 28

pfffft! No one goes into battle in their pajama bottoms!Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: Sorry, we can’t afford live models for this one. You’ll have to make do with the, “Barbarian Barbie & Ken With Stunned Horse” play-set.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.47 out of 10)
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Apr 07

Ok thats one eagle on his chest. And one on his stomach. And the third must be... oh... I'm going to be sick...Click for full image

MisterBoB Comments: Know anyone with a eagle tattoo on their chest?
Published 1990

A special thanks to MisterBob,
who has sent us enough covers to keep the site going for the next year or so!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)
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Aug 17

LOOK OUT! He's got a space fork!Click for full image

Erik’s Art Direction: This is a serious book about proving that aliens exist so I want a flying saucer landing in a barren wasteland, better jazz up the saucer, maybe stick a few satellite dishes on it. Now I want he alien to be wearing overalls but make them a bit more ‘out of this world,’ stick a big collar on it. Now hair, three words – Emerson, Lake & Palmer. To finish off make it look like he has just a stream of flaming urine down his legs.
Published 1977

Not Fiction (I think) but still great.
Many thanks to Erik!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.31 out of 10)
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Jul 29

The real lynx effect....Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Okay, this is a Celtic fantasy, so obviously we want a buff surfer dude who is spaced out of his gourd. What? I dunno, put him in a kilt or something. You figure it out, that’s what you’re paid for isn’t it? Anyhow, magic it up. Slap a shiny silver border on with the author’s name in a clashing red font to distract suspicious readers. Anyhoo, I gotta jet, it’s 4:20.
Published 1993

Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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Dec 15

WHY! Why didn't I bring any arrows for my bow?!?Click for full image

Just have some muscled dudes on horses, pretty much looking exactly the same. Where we will shine, my good apprentice, is in the title and border. Our colour scheme will be brown and the links will be many. And we’ll have a horse or two leaping over the border giving the viewer a 3D experience! Uhhh well, some sort of experience.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.66 out of 10)
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May 08

Dam it Tim, your gun isn't working! Quick show him your mullet!Click for full image

So on this cover I want a vision of the future! I ponder what shall humanity meet? Aliens? OR a huge dragon lizard alien!?! And how shall man react? Peacefully? Or will they be blasting away at it with a shoulder mounted laser gun, wearing tight grey jump suits and wielding their horrendous mullets or bowl cuts… God… I can’t wait for the year 2015.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.53 out of 10)
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