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Sep 01

This is in no way... PHALLIC!Click for full image

Jitterbug Comments: Looks like the main hero forgot to bring his metamucil along with him on his quest to save the world and looking at vampire girls reaction, it’s a stinker!
Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.11 out of 10)
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Aug 29

Well today is a bank holiday and I completely forgot about it. Almost got up to go to work! Almost…

So for all your enjoyment here is a few covers that I believe make the Honourable Mentions standard! Have a good holiday for those who remembered!

No! I said lets go get tanked... not lets go make ourselves some tank hats that we can't see out of!Click for full image

DarkZlorf Comments: I’m sure I left my tank parked around here?
Published 1979

I'm going to use my magic globe to see how the battle is going, instead of turning around.Click for full image

Completely stolen from the wonderful Awful Library Books, but because the top left is clearly a copy of Keith Parkinson’s Dragons of War, I thought it too good not to mention! Thanks to John for letting me know about it!

Paper Dolls... more manly than just dolls. Or at least, that's what I told myself.Click for full image

So I found this is in a touristy shop in the wonderful San Diego… paper dolls… what’s with that? Anyway, I had hours of fun recreating all my covers that day!
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.65 out of 10)
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Aug 11

Thank god I shaved my arm pit hair today! How stupid would I have looked?!Click for full image

Jami Comments: I’m not witty, so here’s some man titty.
Published 1979

Click here for back cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.98 out of 10)
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Aug 02

Sci-Fi - sexually awaking teenage boys since the 1960's!Click for full image

Kelly Comments: Considering that later editions have an absolutely gorgeous cover by Michael Whelan, I’m always a bit horrified to see the travesty on my own copy of the book. It looks like a poster for some kind of low-budget 70s bondage. My poor eyes!

Muttley Comments: Did you see a mouse? I’m sure there’s a mouse in here. Gonna blow that mouse away . . .
Published 1981

Thanks to Kelly and Muttley who both sent this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)
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Jul 06

I'm a little tea pot, this is my handle and this is my.... central processing unit 554TX-V9000!Click for full image

The Portuguese version of Man Plus. Many thanks to Luis for sending this in!
Published 1976 (maybe)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.56 out of 10)
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Jun 27

The Warriors! Coming to a local leisure centre near you!Click for full image

Art Direction: The real question is, what can’t we put on the cover? I want everything, a dragon, a muscle bound man in tights, a wizard and even a dwarf. Oh and the standard 80’s teenager thrown into a world they don’t understand but slowly come to love. All emerging from a fine mist.
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Jun 20

RIGHT! Who brought me back after 500,000 years without a penis! WHO!?!Click for full image

Ian Comments: Reach for your gun! A man wearing nothing but a couple of spangly lights has just materialised and is scaring the women!
Published 1966

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.06 out of 10)
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Jun 17

THOR! The mighty god with a hatred of pink fonts!Click for full image

Art Direction: Lets break away from the common Thor look stereotype. And by break away, I mean just don’t give him a cape. Keep the male skirt, shaved legs, long blonde hair and bunny ears helmet!
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.54 out of 10)
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Jun 13

What can I say... my electricity just knows what to cover!Click for full image

Joachim’s Art Direction: Man, surrounded by flowing white firmamental materials, which conglomerate/emanate at/from his manhood… Everyone standing in awe since he’s floating down steps, or, staring at his….
Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.46 out of 10)
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Jun 07

Does that boat have wings?Click for full image

Phil Comments: Why John, you are so odd that I must hide behind these conveniently positioned but otherwise random spikes. But at least you’ve noticed me, which makes you not quite as odd as you used to be back in the days of: Odd John.


Published 1959

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.22 out of 10)
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