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Jul 23

Bad Voltage

33 Comments »

I'm here to chew bubble gum... and put on one hell of a good childrens light show... and I have plenty of gum for everyone!Click for full image

Chuffmunky Comments: The future’s so badass, I gotta wear shades (and a bandoleer of spikes, and a fisher-price cd walkman cabled to my chest for some reason).
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.44 out of 10)
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Jul 12

Skyfall

30 Comments »

We may look cheesy... but at least we don't have a theme song by Adele...Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: Gentlemen…perhaps what this cover needs is both a man, and a horse! Yes! And another man with a mullet, showing he doesn’t know how to ride a horse. And… a girl wearing nothing but body paint, standing at the top of a staircase! Because, gentlemen: nobody would otherwise pay money for something a woman has written!
(the senior partners, followed by everyone else in the room, erupt in a perfect storm of applause. The junior copyrighter wipes a tear from his eye)
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.37 out of 10)
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Jul 10

The Way the Future Was

19 Comments »

And you should see what comes out of my toes! Click for full image

Phil Comments: Good news, everyone! Fred Pohl claims to have invented the finglonger. (A man can dream. A man can dream.)
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.42 out of 10)
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Jul 03

Meanwhile

28 Comments »

Followed by the sequel... Anyway... Click for full image

David A Comments: Blonde in a bikini? Check! Sex god in thong armour? Check! Aliens? Check! Castle? Check! Erupting volcano? Check! But oh, wait, what’s that say on the front? Fully illustrated??
Published 1979

Click here for a gallery of the (NSFW) interior artwork (including a naked sea lion/woman hybrid with a baby!)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.45 out of 10)
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Jun 27

Explorers in Hell

34 Comments »

Hell wasn't the nicest of places at times, but the local theatre groups tried their best.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: KITTY! KITTY! Get off my keyboard! If you don’t get off this instant you are going on that cover in hell we’re getting done. Cause that’s where you belong… RIGHT! You’re going on… you are going on there… with Genghis Khan… in hell! That will teach you.
Published 1989

Many thanks to A. Waltz for tweeting this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.93 out of 10)
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Jun 19

Prentice Alvin

40 Comments »

Sir... is it wise to do your blacksmithing naked? Click for full image

DPN Comments: This one of sort of popped out at me!
Uncertain publication date (circa 1996?)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.56 out of 10)
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Jun 14

Sign of the Unicorn

37 Comments »

So how I look guys? Epic? Yeah... I wish I had stuffed this unicorn with a happy face too...Click for full image

Stephen Comments: A badly drawn Kevin Keegan with a unicorn’s head on his shield!! A UNICORN’S HEAD! ON KEVIN KEEGAN’S MAGIC SHIELD!Marvellous.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.16 out of 10)
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Jun 13

Not Without Sorcery

32 Comments »

No... I don't like your ship... it's just too small! I could barely fit on it... I'll wait for the next sea captain to fall in love with...Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: Thar she blows! Oh, sorry ma’am. Mistook you for the Leviathan!
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.47 out of 10)
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Jun 11

The Dragon Guard: The Magickers #3

35 Comments »

And so, the children avoided being eaten by a dragon... through magical interpretive dance!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Gym class will never be the same again!
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.87 out of 10)
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May 30

At All Costs

37 Comments »

It was then that Kate stumbled on it... the greatest book ever read... Killer Crabs vs Cat People vs Electricity Dragons... Click for full image

Sara S Comments: This cover has everything. The cat-being is looking out at the reader as if to say, ‘How do you humans like it when we dangle something in front of YOU and then snatch it away, huh?’ The cherry on top of it all is the title artist who thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be great if the preposition ‘at’ didn’t line up with any of the other words on the cover?!
Published 2005

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.21 out of 10)
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