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Mar 04

He's been on the tanning bed all day... now it's time to get wild!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: That stare and that belt buckle. Pretty sure he’s thinking, “X marks the spot, ladies.” Then again maybe not, because that would make this a pirate story, and it’s already a sci-fi erotic spy thriller, so that might be a bit much.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Jun 01

But he looked so trustworthy... with the magic crystals... and explosions....Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Ye poor souls, gaze upon the beardy face of PURE EEEEEEVIL!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.58 out of 10)
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Apr 10

ALL UR BASES ARE BELONG TO MY PECKS!Click for full glorious image

Tom Noir Comments: America’s Explosive Tomorrow – Where men are men! Except when those men are also cars. And sometimes the car men cover their crotches with hubcaps, cause that’s what car men like, OKAY? What are YOU looking at, buster?? Does this cheese grater belt make by hips look big? Dammit.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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Oct 30

Men... always fighting with their snakes... HEYOOOOOOO!Click for full image

Frank Comments: What’s with the nipple jewelry on the lady’s leather armor?
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.77 out of 10)
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Mar 01

Looks like Balzan forgot his glasses again. OYE BALZAN! They're behind you!Click for slightly bigger picture

Now showing in IMAX

Alessandra Comments: The cover isn’t really awful, although it is pretty behind the curve for 1975. What got me was the hideous font lightning effect, the confusing typography (the title is actually “The Blood Stones”), and the extreme genericness of the cover — oh, and the Conan-gets-a-mullet hairdo.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.03 out of 10)
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Feb 07

It's like, how much more purple could this be? and the answer is none. None more purple.Click for full image

Joachim Comments:Man with heavy mascara, in a purple cloud, with a star, sparkling, under his eye…. Is paradise a purple cloud?
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.35 out of 10)
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Aug 15

Holiday pictures are always so awkward.Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: A window on Narnia, where they can wave to you?
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.03 out of 10)
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Nov 17

To be very fair, my dark lord. It's not exactly a hard puzzle.Click for full image

Greengerg Comments: Forge the Season of the Witch, it’s the Season of the Bull according to the back cover, and nothing says demonic violence like a fat guy with cow horns slowly being turned into a Ravensburger jigsaw puzzle.
Published 1974

Many thanks to Greengerg!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.78 out of 10)
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Sep 11

So, one of my good friends is getting married tomorrow and he has even got me to wear a kilt. As some sort of strange wedding present I decided to include these covers I discovered in the depths of a charity shop. They break our rules due to being a franchise but hey, they are still fantastic.

Graeme, I hope you have a fantastic day, and I hope everyone else enjoys these Doctor Who covers. It’s not my favourite doctor *coughs* John Pertwee *coughs* but they are just brilliant!

Aww come on, we're just trying to get to Soho!Click for full image

GAHHHH! Wow.. how do you get your teeth so white?Click for full image

Seriously.. I have no idea what to put for this one.Click for full image

We may be monkeys but we can go up stairs! Get on the evolutionary chain losers!Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.64 out of 10)
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