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Jun 17

Looks like I choose the wrong henchman for stealth!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: “Don’t use your fearsome claws and thick, scaly hide for protection, dragon! Use this unwieldy sword and shield instead! And for God’s sakes, wear a loincloth, we’re civilized here.”
Published 1998 (maybe)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.07 out of 10)
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Sep 01

Well... I certainly hope the warrior within is... better equipped for battle! Cause you look terrible!Click for full image

 

Matt Comments: Check out those shiny pasties!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.70 out of 10)
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Mar 05

Well, we fired the baby at them. Do we have any more? No? Time to surrender.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:
“Our toddlers will blot out the sun!”
“Then we will fight in the shade!”
Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.48 out of 10)
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Oct 23

What a time to be attacked by feminist ape-men. Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: A tasteful way to cover up male nudity? I know what you mean… how about we cover up his nudity with a naked women on her knees, in front of his “blade!” What? How is that even remotely sexist!? Oh…. well… do it anyway.
Published 1969

Many thanks to Travis G!
See also: Looters of Tharn

Update: The Cover My Ass crew has a podcast reviewing “Jewel of Tharn”. Check it out:

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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Jun 27

Hell wasn't the nicest of places at times, but the local theatre groups tried their best.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: KITTY! KITTY! Get off my keyboard! If you don’t get off this instant you are going on that cover in hell we’re getting done. Cause that’s where you belong… RIGHT! You’re going on… you are going on there… with Genghis Khan… in hell! That will teach you.
Published 1989

Many thanks to A. Waltz for tweeting this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.93 out of 10)
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Jun 14

So how I look guys? Epic? Yeah... I wish I had stuffed this unicorn with a happy face too...Click for full image

Stephen Comments: A badly drawn Kevin Keegan with a unicorn’s head on his shield!! A UNICORN’S HEAD! ON KEVIN KEEGAN’S MAGIC SHIELD!Marvellous.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.16 out of 10)
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Jan 18

Lich Gate? Seems more like an archway to me... Click for full image

Jered Comments: It’s seriously like the artist used pictures of existing pop culture icons to model their characters. Matthew Broderick for the hero, Hoggle from Labyrinth for the goblin dude, and possibly Joey Fatone for the dwarf.
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.10 out of 10)
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Oct 01

Hold it there my alien space scaly steed... I am pulling off some awesome Ting!Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: I want a seriously bronzed (think gallons of Man-Tan) hero on a gryphonish thing with wings growing out of his butt.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.55 out of 10)
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Apr 10

The tall lady does not look at all impressed with that space ship!Click for full image

Richard Comments: The spaceman in the foreground is both scared and turned on.
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.93 out of 10)
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Jan 21

I'll just put this Z&A here... there we go! See, it spells wizard!Click for full image

Tally ho! Well good chap I’ll have the one with swords and those smashing old wizards praising a big wolf in the clouds!
Published 2000

Hold on, we'll save the princess in a bit. I have a chance to look... awesome!Click for full image

Good show old bean, I’ll go for the one with double swords, a buxom beauty and a mighty cape. Spiffing!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.50 out of 10)
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