Good Show Sir

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Sophaloaf’s Art Direction: Okay, nothing says the future of publishing more than an oversized walkman that runs on floppy disks. Just imagine handsets so big theyll have to hover above a bunch of skyscrapers like a space ship.
Published 1990

Ironically, now sold as an E-book.
Many thanks to Sophaloaf!

(Average: 6.74 out of 10)

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Don Comments: OK, we’ve seen tons of perms and oodles of mullets on these covers – but I do believe this is the first permed mullet. (Pullet?) Assuming that’s the eponymous Bard whose Tale this is, he’s apparently not the brightest light in the harbor, since he a) agreed to accompany his hairdresser on a thieving expedition from an albino lizard-man (do such things EVER end well?) and b) misunderstood her when she said she wanted him along to carry the loot.
Published 1993

Many thanks to the Don!

(Average: 6.61 out of 10)

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Nix comments: This has an annoyingly shiny cover, so it may be hard to read its contents. It’s an anthology of four famous SF works: _2001_, _The Demolished Man_, _The Day of the Triffids_, and _I, Robot_. As you know, all of these contained city-sized giant mecha and huge explosions (although only two had the giant mecha dive-bombed by rocketships), so the cover is quite appropriate, and obviously is a fine piece of artwork: tasteful, yet subtle. I’m only sending it in because it’s so annoyingly shiny.

Many thanks to Nix!

(Average: 4.93 out of 10)

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You know what all guns should have? Large magazine, maybe. Insanely large silencer on the end, possibly. A leather clad busty blonde, you’re almost there. Nope? All guns should have a guitar hero controller. When wouldn’t you want to stop fighting and starpower some AC/DC?!

(Average: 7.89 out of 10)

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Eyelashes! We’ll have a dragon with eyelashes, peering over at some wizard reading his dragon magical book. It won’t just be any mage, he’ll have a magical staff! Unheard of I know. And a side parting to make the king of side partings proud. As for the title, make it silver. We have to stand out somehow.

(Average: 6.32 out of 10)

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A kids’ book? Well you know what kids love: FONTS, terrible fonts – gold outline! Give me: people animals… that’s right, I want a man weasel, man mouse, man rabbit and man mole all on there. Uh, best not make it too cutesy though, give the weasel a bow and arrow.

(Average: 4.16 out of 10)

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Sometimes I stop and wonder, “what if man evolved from cats?”. Like that guy from that sci-fi show but much more furry! We could have them just standing around hugging, scratching and talking with a space ship in the background and a robed alien stepping down. And you just know that they are thinking, “What did this guy evolve from, San Francisco?” hahahaha.

(Average: 7.27 out of 10)

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Shiinnnny so shiny……. Yea that’s exactly what I want people to say when they look at the cover. I want silver, a black web, and a little spyder… sorry I mean spider… but you see what I was doing there… right?

Thanks to Graeme!

(Average: 5.23 out of 10)

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Typical blonde helpless maiden, possibly a wench from the local drinkery. Then a typical bartender looking guy with perm, a wooden magic wand, a glowing wrist band and a red misty entity coming from the side. Come on… do I have to think of everything?!?!

(Average: 5.31 out of 10)

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Click for full river of lava!

Art direction: A huge lake of lava flowing down from a pointed ice mountain, and a dragon chasing some guys encased in a magic crystal of ice as they meander down the lava. Wait… there’s something missing isn’t there… Got it! Have a white ice eagle chase them too. But is it their companion or tormentor?

Thanks to Stu!

(Average: 6.51 out of 10)

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