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Aug 09

Is assTing! a Thing!?Click for larger image

Mosquito Wenzi Comments: Why wouldn’t you wear a gown and high-heels to a sword fight when all the Ting will surely blind your enemies anyway?

Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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May 01

Murky Murk and the Funky BunchClick for larger image

RachelJ Art Direction: “This is no ordinary novel. Not even a “A Novel”. This is… “A MOSAIC”. I want every element of the cover– title, subtitle, font, artwork– to blend harmoniously into one vast, resounding “WTF”.

Do it justice, my boy.”

[Note: It’s not my camera. The cover image is just really, really dark and murky and it’s hard to tell what anything is.]

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.88 out of 10)
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Jul 17

Hey, my guns are up hereClick for larger cleavage

Kat’s Art Direction: “Okay, you’ve used the front of her shirt to make shoulder pads and recycled the scraps to make some useless pouches. Good work. But you know what this cover needs? What it really, really needs? … SHINIER LETTERING.”

Published 2004

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.79 out of 10)
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Aug 15

Ok Mr. Man Kzin Tiger. If you could read the letters on the bottom line of the chart we'll begin your eye examination.Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: Tinfoil! Tinfoil is the future, my dear boy! Look, see how I look when I wear it as a hood. Now paint me on the rest of the roll, but as if I were a one-dimensional tigerman. And how the money rolls in!
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.94 out of 10)
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May 25

Looks like a copperhead snake.Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Here is the wrap-around cover so you enjoy the wrap-around snake view. The camera might not pick it up but everything is embossed. Lady, snake, sword, title. Everything!

Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.82 out of 10)
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Feb 24

Daneil IX didn't make it...Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth’s Art Direction: We haven’t any more time to spend on your ‘drawing the main character’ rubbish, there are 117 layers of rainbow-coloured lacquer to slap on the cover before we put it to bed!
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.06 out of 10)
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Feb 11

I'm confused. Who's the Monster? Who's the Hunter?Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: To their surprise, it was Gerald’s father who insisted on chaperoning, not Nadine’s.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Nov 19

Night Mare ... BEHIND YOU!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: This cover is so shiny that everything looks black unless you photograph it at the right angle. And then you notice that everything is embossed. The title is embossed. The authors are embossed. The car is embossed. The horse head is embossed. The fox-girl is embossed. It’s like bad cover art Braille for the blind.
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.76 out of 10)
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Nov 09

Put your sword away... this looks like a creature we can work things out with.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:  “I now pronounce you ThighMaster representative and wife!”
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.26 out of 10)
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Aug 26

This? Really? Like... Really?Click for full image

Noel Comments: Skook? You mean you don’t know what a skook is?!?
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.74 out of 10)
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