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Sep 05

♪♫♬ ... Valhalla, I am coming ... ♪♫♬Click for larger image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: PUSH HIM! PUSH HIM!

tl;drClick for larger image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: The back side, featuring the least appealing excerpt ever proffered on this Web site.

Published 1973

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.30 out of 10)
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Sep 25

STOP RIDING US NAKED! AHHHHH!Click for full image

Chuffmunky Comments: It’s the 53rd century and pervert aliens from another dimension have turned humans into debauched goblin troglodytes……. About frickin time man!
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.95 out of 10)
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Sep 26

Now THIS is a Rogers and Hammerstein I can really appreciate! Click for full UNLEWISED image

Tom Noir Comments: The subset of Sir Walter Scott fans who also like Rollerball is probably about the size of that Roman soldier’s thong.
Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.47 out of 10)
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Sep 19

Mutant starfish might seem weird... if I wasn't hanging about with pirate Pinocchio!Click for full image

Lauren F Comments: Avast ye badly-photoshopped starfish, my evil-eyed puppet boy sidekick will now make you walk the plank! Or crawl slowly, arrrr.
Published 2013

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.47 out of 10)
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Sep 16

Just hold on a jolly good second... that's.... no... WOLF!!!!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Nothing screams ‘good book’ like the phrase ‘Coupon Inside!’
Published 2006

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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Jun 28

Also a time for running away! Ok ok ok... I am really tired today. Best I could come up with. More sleep is calling!Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: OK its six of us and five of them. Let’s flip a coin to see who doesn’t get dinner!
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.89 out of 10)
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Jun 13

No... I don't like your ship... it's just too small! I could barely fit on it... I'll wait for the next sea captain to fall in love with...Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: Thar she blows! Oh, sorry ma’am. Mistook you for the Leviathan!
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Mar 21

And so they said goodbye to Mr Crab... as he assended into the heavenly light.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: I need to get into their mindset. What does the public want to see on their book cover… public…. cover…. public… pubic…. GOT IT! Giant floating glowing crab! Maybe a dragon too, but that’s just a background thought!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.94 out of 10)
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Jan 28

After escaping from Captain T-Rex... Nessy made her way to Scotland!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: The smirk on this fellow’s face says, “Underneath this desk, I’m not wearing trousers.” Because when you’re a dinosaur sea-captain with a fancy sash, who’s going to make you?
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.62 out of 10)
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Mar 07

Unknown to some, King Penguins are respected collectors of fine art.Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a cover that depicts the author’s existential angst and self-loathing. Just kidding! Draw a naked broad with big gazongas on it and call it a day. Ooh, and maybe have a bird squawking at her.
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.09 out of 10)
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