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Sep 10

New Voices II

16 Comments »

Dabbin' with the DevilClick for larger image

Wendy Comments: ♫”The Roof! The Roof! The Roof is on Fire!”♫

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.65 out of 10)
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Dec 07

Honourable Mentions 17

21 Comments »

Good evening, and welcome to a private showing of three paintings, displayed here for the first time. Each is a collectors’ item in its own way – not because of any special artistic quality, but because each captures on a canvas, and suspends in time and space, a frozen moment of …

OK, that’s just a Rod Serling Night Gallery quote I copped off of IMDB. But here, for your consideration, are three cover submissions that didn’t make the cut. Not because they aren’t terrible. Not because they are based on a franchise. Not because they are parody or comedy. Not because … well, just because …

 

Boob Tube?Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: That 70s Show.
Published 1975

 

I've been hitchhiking for an hour. Why can't I get a ride?Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “Let the Magic Journey begin! Oh crap. Wher’d my ass go?”.
Published 1988

 

 

Sheep!Click for larger image

Maureen Comments: Click all you want. No boobs under the sheep.
Published 1972

 

Oh, and Tag Wizard sent me this racism and dared me to post it. Now you owe me a pint:

Chinese GSS is going to have a shit fitClick for larger image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.85 out of 10)
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Nov 14

Dew Claws & A Skeleton in the Family

23 Comments »

Mr. BonejanglesClick for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – Dem Bones Edition

Gully Foyle Comments: Yahoo! Mountain Dew!

Don't fall asleep. Your dog thinks your bones look tasty.Click for larger image

Piper Comments: The cover is very literal: a skeleton solving his own murder with the dog.

Published 1986, 2013

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.89 out of 10)
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Oct 09

The Light of Lilith

25 Comments »

Cleanup on aisle 5 at the Chernobyl Wal-martClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: His balls were bit by a radioactive spider.

Published 1961

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.06 out of 10)
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Jul 13

Heaven Cent

19 Comments »

Who knew... Keith makes such a good boat!Click for full image

JaunPaul Comments: The cloud is Piers Anthony, perving over his naked under-aged protagonists.
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.62 out of 10)
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Jun 16

Telempath

20 Comments »

Forrest Gump: The Later YearsClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Leopard says: “Go ahead and finish your sandwich. I’ll have my lunch after you’re done.”

Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.35 out of 10)
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Feb 16

Tom Swift and His Electric Retroscope

42 Comments »

You idiot. You fried the rest of the scout troop. Aim that thing before you turn it on.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: “Gee willikers, Joe, I see skeletons!”

“F#*% this noise, Tom!”
Published 1959

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.60 out of 10)
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Apr 02

The Best of Leigh Brackett

28 Comments »

Is that a prehistoric unicorn!?!Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: You spilled your whiskey all over the cover art! No time to redo it. Just sponge it off and get it out the door. It has to be at the printer’s today.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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Nov 13

The Hunter

19 Comments »

Hey that's my loincloth you're wearing on your neck! Give that back!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: No seriously man, I just want to take a little bit off the top!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.97 out of 10)
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Oct 10

E Pluribus Unicorn

23 Comments »

Uhh... something's wrong with your salad bowl!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: I don’t know… just draw something… make it odd… actually make it so odd no one will have a clue what’s going on!
Published 1969

Many thanks to Darren!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.46 out of 10)
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