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Jun 29

A Faux-nan painted by a Faux-frazettaClick for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: That appears to be a right hand attached to a left arm coming through the wall.

Published 1983

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.86 out of 10)
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Sep 01

Well... I certainly hope the warrior within is... better equipped for battle! Cause you look terrible!Click for full image

 

Matt Comments: Check out those shiny pasties!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.41 out of 10)
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May 23

YES! It’s not only a bank holiday on Monday but the site is working! Woo! That means we can finally do another Honourable Mentions!

Thanks to all of you who constantly checked the site for over a month to see if it was working again! I missed all your comments, though oddly I actually got some work done. Anyway, I’m back to my normal pace now! Till the site breaks again…

Dude... you should get some cream for that or something!Click for full image

Scott W’s Art Direction: Ok, I need me a Ben Franklin, some lecherous 18th century dudes copping feels (or having their feels copped) by busty harlots, and oh yeah, can you possibly have Mr. Hundred Dollar Bill ride in on a cardboard lightning bolt with a pleasantly startled expression on his mug?
Published 1980

Click for full imageNext stop for Kong, the Betty Ford Clinic.

Matt Comments: It wasn’t the airplanes. It was chain smoking that killed the beast.
Published 1977

Click for full imageWatch out! You'll poke someones eye out with those things...

Click for full imageThankfully I travelled first class, so at least I'll get a bacon sandwich on my return from forbidden love!

Ian R Comments: Do you accept old pulp sci-fi magazine covers? I hope you use them, if only because of that… thing on the woman’s neck/shoulder. It looks quite uncomfortable.
Published between 1955 & 1958

BONUS SPECIAL OFFER!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
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Jun 05

The real reason the dinosaurs went extinct... we ate them! Then moved onto tomatoes.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Woahhh… yeah that LSD has just kicked in… SECRETARY… take this down. And by secretary I mean you sir, the man in the urinal next to me. A tomato plant… triceratops! What’s that, hand dryer elf? Yes you are right, it wouldn’t be complete unless it was multicoloured!
Published 1980 (also known as ‘A Messiah at the End of Time’)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.76 out of 10)
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Oct 15

Great... now as well as carrying his sweaty ass around I have an over excited naked women... FML...Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: I’m still going through this in my head but surely we can have a man carrying away his damsel on a large fluffy cat beast… beast…bea…breasts! That’s it! Just make sure to have breasts on there too!
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.58 out of 10)
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May 13

Someone enjoys the smell of their armpits a bit too much!Click for full SHOCKINGLY UNCENSORED image

Art Direction: Lets get this done with, I have a squash game to get to! Right, got it! Half women, the topless half I might add and half… I don’t know… Golden retriever?
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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Mar 04

Well, Peter Pans shadow is really screwed now.Click for full image

Art Direction: You know what I see this book about a clairvoyant having visions of murders to be compared to? The movie Fame! So we’ll have the title, with that brilliant font, above something like a giant bat and a shadowy figure onlooking. Can’t you just feel the symbolism?
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.27 out of 10)
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Jan 14

Yes.. someone did in fact say, 'Yes, this is the cover we want!'Click for full UNCENSORED image

Art Direction: Nothing attracts readers more than nipples! It’s a proven trend that equals one thing, money! That is unless you draw huge nipples, a huge red women with an insane sparkling mouth wearing sunglasses and a guy running from a giant pinball. Hey! Are you listening?
Published 1978

I give this a Zippy and George!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.01 out of 10)
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Nov 11

Of all the daemon summoning days to forget my satanic robes...Click for full image

Art Direction: Evil prophets go together with men wearing eyeliner like… Anyway that’s easy! Lets make any text on the cover like some sort of cryptic puzzle which will have to deciphered. What’s the book called? What’s the name the of author again? Ha! They’ll be stumped! The money will roll in!
Published Date Unknown

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.34 out of 10)
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Aug 09

Lipstick... really?Click for full image

Shelley’s Art Direction: We’re looking for a sort of lion-centaur. And a spaceship. And gore. And…could you do something with foreshortened perspective? Thanks.
Published 1977

That is… awesome.
Many thanks to Shelley!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.19 out of 10)
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