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Aug 30

We have here a trio of Honourable Mentions since these are e-books and technically not being photographed sitting in our sweaty hands. But the “publisher” Phoenix Pick informs us that you can own an actual dead-tree book version of the same. The odds are vanishingly small that any book versions of these titles would ever be found in what few book stores still exist. So let’s have our fun with these e-book pix nicked from the Intertubes. I see some vestige of an artist signature on one of these. Go figure. But none of my usual sources gives any hint who they might be. So Unknown Artist Institute it is.

 

Is that you Fairy-Peg?Click for larger image

She came in through the bathroom window ...Click for larger image

I now pronounce you husband and waifClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments:

1. He-man and Cat-in-the-Hat take on flaming Gummi-Bear monster.

2. Stop wearing the chamois, son. I’ve got to dry the car.

3. Don’t think you’re setting a foot outside wearing that strapping outfit!

Published 2012

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.50 out of 10)
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May 24

A sword-id tale!Click for full image

JuanPaul Comments: I CAN HAZ LOST SWORD?

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Feb 24

Alright, we all turned up to sell out. Now where's my money?!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Not sure what makes me more curious: Hawkman… or the incredibly stoned Mickey Mouse.
Published 1975

Many thanks to Chris for sending this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.19 out of 10)
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Feb 06

Extra foam buttle wash... all the monsters loved it!Click for full image

Scott Comments: A lone hero stands off against… the Abominable Snowman with prosthetic jackhammer hands???
Published 1967

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.77 out of 10)
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Jan 31

When attacked by dragons, use PYRAMID POWER double strength! Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: The helmet wings! They do nothing!
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.68 out of 10)
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Nov 08

He may wear a cape... but he was the best giant eyebrow plucker in the land!Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth Comments:Whaddaya think? I hewed her cheeks meself.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.17 out of 10)
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Jul 11

Thankfully we can't see where the oxygen tank is strapped to.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: You, my friend, are an artist! And a good one at that, so I will not make you draw just any old crap. Give me something like… The Birth of Venus… but instead of her covering herself up… have a naked guy in a bondage space suit holding an alien flower.
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.83 out of 10)
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Jul 04

A dragon phallic train? No way am I... 'boarding'... that!Click for full image

Scott Comments: Cat People always make a great cover, but a steam-dragon-train, that’s something else!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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Apr 16

Quick dear, lets go. Sean Connery is trying to steal my man thong for Zardos!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: I want an attractive couple on another planet who wear ribbons instead of actual clothing. But I guess we need something that will make it seem horrible AND sexy, so can you add a long trail of golden ectoplasm to the woman’s lower body? It should imply “you have radiant womb” and not “you should immediately see a doctor about that.”
Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.82 out of 10)
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Apr 27

Ok.. don't let the dragon set us on fire, don't let the dragon set us on fire. don't let the... OH CRAP!Click for full image

NGpm Comments: This is one busy cover. Why does the dragon-saurus have a blue and red aura? Is the horse fireproof? You know this dragon’s dynamite: “look at the bones, man!” Overall the art isn’t bad, but the typography and that blurb about the Newberry is just so awkward.
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.57 out of 10)
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