Mar 09
Click for full image
A collection of fantasy stories? Well I know what they’ll want. A huge barbarian with a ponytail swinging his axe at randomly placed wood. Hmm, you’re right, needs thickened out. Throw a stereotype wizard/fireball combination in there and some damsel with a sword.
Loading...
Tagged with: Alan Dean Foster • Andre Norton • ax-wielding • Baen Books • beard-wielding • Bill Fawcett • bladed weapons • bracers • Brian Thomsen • damsel • David Drake • David Weber • dude • Elizabeth Moon • Faux-nan • Jeff Easley • Jody Lynn Nye • loincloth • magic • magical orbs • Mercedes Lackey • Mickey Zucker Reichert • Mike Resnick • Robert Asprin • sword • weird pecs • Wizaaaaaaaard!
Mar 05
Click for full image
NIPPLES? What’s this obsession with nipples going around at the moment? Well by heck, we will give them so many nipples it will burn their retinas. And semi-naked muscle clad men killing some sort of beast! Now if you thought that wasn’t manly enough, we’ll give them all tashes!
Loading...
Tagged with: bladed weapons • dude • Hiero Desteen series • itsh shean connery • loincloth • muscles • Richard Clifton-Dey • Speedos • Sterling E. Lanier • sword • weird delts
Feb 26
Click for full image
Gwad Darn it, we know from experience realism sells! If you haven’t got some models to pose for you in costume it’s just not going to sell. We’ll grab their attention with a kid hiding behind a sword fighters cape. Then we can make it shiny…
Loading...
Tagged with: Baen Books • bladed weapons • cloaks • cutlass • evil children • font problems • Larry Dixon • Mercedes Lackey • Roberta Gellis • shiny oh so shiny • sword
Feb 23
Click for full image
Nothinggets the attention ofwomen more than standing in the midst of an ice cavern with little clothes and showing off your bare chest. Holding your short sword in an inspiring way while standing by your Viking boat sleigh. That’s right. A boat sleigh.
Loading...
Tagged with: bladed weapons • Boris Vallejo • cloaks • damsel • dude • Eric Iverson • Gerin the Fox series • Harry Turtledove • muscles • sword • Trojan Books
Feb 18
Click for full image
Every man, or lord of the lands, needs a hairy companion. And what would they do together I hear your mind ask. Well they would go hill walking, dress in lovely princely clothes and watch the sun set together over the lands of… America? Wait… what?
Loading...
Tagged with: beard-wielding • bladed weapons • cloaks • dude • Greg Call • long haired men • pointing • Ron Sarti • spear • sword
Feb 11
Click for full image
What in the name of Poseidon is this? A naked woman?! Look, we can’t have it go out like that, at least cover her up with something adequate, like a skimpy piece of cloth and some small shells covering a small portion of her cleavage. And have her standing on a chained man, pointing her sword at him. That way, it’s acceptable.
Loading...
Tagged with: bladed weapons • cleavage • damsel • dude • John Russell Fearn • loincloth • muscles • sword • Trojan Books • Unknown Artist Institute
Jan 22
Click for full image
Doctor: It’s alright Madame, your Son simply has a case of the TeenFlu.
Concerned Mother: Thank you doctor, is there anything I can do for him?
Doctor: Well, I prescribe some awesome red and yellow training warrior monks, a large dude in a kimono and a busty women in a gold bikini grasping her short sword. Here, take this book.
Concerned Mother: Uh… you’re a medical doctor right?
Doctor: My doctorate came in a toblerone box.
Concerned Mother: Ohhhhhhh K, well I’ll be going.
Loading...
Tagged with: bikini • bladed weapons • chainmail lingerie • cleavage • damsel • Good Show Sir • Julian Gibson • Martin Millar • Martin Scott • monks • shrubbery • sword • Thraxas series
Jan 13
Click for full image
I’m talking busy, like izzy wizzy lets get busy! Magic! We need a blonde hero swinging his sword, and something magical, oh a like a griffin! Then we’ll have a centaur archer and why not just have a dragon-esque creature. With horns, red eyes and tiny wings.
Loading...
Tagged with: archery weapons • bladed weapons • booties • Centaur! • Doug Beekman • dragon • dude • griffin • horses • magic • man-blouse • once you see it • Orbit Books • Piers Anthony • puffy shirt • shortbow • sword • the no pants dance • tights
Jan 11
Click for full image
Nothing says, ‘I’m one hundred percent pure man,’ than a glowing sword, blonde curtains and a cape with some red velvet lining. We’ll have him charging towards the reader on his horse, waving his sword and smiling manically. Make sure the fonts have at least three layers of bordering!
Loading...
Tagged with: Baen Books • castle • cloaks • damsel • Elizabeth Moon • font problems • glow • horses • magic • sword
Jan 07
Click for full image
Most covers only hint at cleavage. Where we will succeed will be in the tactic of placing an actual topless women on the cover! Riding horse back along an alien desert. Oh, and she is being lead by a sort of Apache Indian bloke with an extremely long sword. And yes, I mean a literal sword.
Thanks to Craig!
Loading...
Tagged with: bladed weapons • blood • Bob Fowke • cleavage • cloaks • damsel • dude • horses • loincloth • Magnum Books • Philip José Farmer • sword • Tarzan Series • whip it good
Recent Post Comments