Good Show Sir

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You know what I love about Ireland? All the dwarfs, the mysterious dark riders on horses, the barmaids that insist on carrying a bow and arrow with them, the extreme landscapes and, of course, the rainbows so I know where to find my pot of gold. We should turn that into a cover someday, my boy.

(Average: 5.97 out of 10)

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I want a man charging into battle on his horse. But instead of a horse, lets just have some five legged reptilian-esque horse creature and let’s not actually have a battle, he can just be charging alone through a desert Mars landscape. Make sure the guy is only wearing a loincloth – who cares about armour as long as your family jewels are comfortable?

(Average: 8.38 out of 10)

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Let’s have a man in a male skirt, or, say, a leather armour of sorts, stretching into the sky. We’ll have his companion lancing out with his hand just towards his crotch… Wait! This is Sci Fi? Lucky you told me. Uh, have them fighting aliens but keep the rest the same.

(Average: 7.04 out of 10)

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What we shouldn’t have is something like ships exploding covering most of the front cover as some four armed goblins fire a cannon. And some blonde women holding her gun as she surveys the scene. Then the title and authors in huge fonts! THEN quotes from reviews just in case we think it’s not busy enough! That’s what we shouldn’t have guys. Right, guys? …Right?

(Average: 8.56 out of 10)

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A hunky swordsman, an old Robin Hood character, and a strange female sorceress. Now, because our trio are wanting to keep themselves undercover, give the hunky one a Zorro mask to cover his eyebrows and nose. No-one will ever know his true identity. No-one!

(Average: 4.41 out of 10)

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Ok, how about this one. I’m just throwing it in there. Guy with sword, guy with gun, guy possibly naked with an american flag wrapped around him, and a guy in uniform.Now, to make sure no-one could think that this accompaniment could be anything but just good friends, make sure the sword guy has a platonic look as he ogles the blonde one.

(Average: 8.00 out of 10)

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So it’s that time again for some honourable mentions. This time it’s my brother’s birthday so, in a strange sort of way, this is a little present to him. Don’t worry, I also have a proper present for him!

I used to love these role-play books when I was a teenager. Although I am pretty sure I always kept a finger at the previous page so if my choice lead to death, I would never actually have to start over again. They kinda break our rules as they are part of a franchise but again, the covers are just amazing!

Just a big thank you to everyone who visits the site and those who have helped out! We’ve had people from all around the world visit us here. You’ve made sharing this strange hobby all the better! Enjoy!

To go deeper into dungeon turn to page 7
To use your staff of Awesomeness turn to page 10

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(Average: 8.37 out of 10)

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I want you to listen to me, very carefully! Wolf howls up to the sky while a dragon flies in the background with a knight on its back. Again in the foreground a bowl cut man stands, his hand grasped firmly and suggestively around his sword. If you want to see your family again you will draw what I tell you.

(Average: 6.23 out of 10)

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I’m thinking book covers are normally so unrealistic. They have things that are so unbelievable it would make your mother cry. Not us! I propose, a photographic quality drawing of a military man placing his shined boot on the head of his latest kill: a giant ant insect alien creature. It will be just like they are back in the great war…. with aliens…

(Average: 4.00 out of 10)

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Excuse me, Sir, there is a phone call for you.

Art Director: Is it ready?
Mysterious caller: It’s more glorious than you could ever imagine.
Art Director: You remembered the…
Mysterious caller: Vampire, Minotaur, Robot, Damsel, Roman man in toga with sword, Angel and death star?
Art Director: Don’t forget Saberhagen.. he must be in there to! Mu hahahahahahaaha!
Mysterious caller: MU hahahahahahahaahhahaaha
Art Director: No… only I may laugh! Mu hahahaahahahah!
Mysterious caller: ………………………

(Average: 8.45 out of 10)

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