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Jun 13

What can I say... my electricity just knows what to cover!Click for full image

Joachim’s Art Direction: Man, surrounded by flowing white firmamental materials, which conglomerate/emanate at/from his manhood… Everyone standing in awe since he’s floating down steps, or, staring at his….
Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.77 out of 10)
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May 05

Pfft look at all those sails. He's making up for something.Click for full image

Ian Comments: This is not a terrible cover – it quite accurately depicts the book’s contents. It’s the UK edition cover. The US cover follows..

I've been working out all day, take a whiff of this!Click for full image

Ian comments: This is what the US publisher used for the book. It is, incidentally, a steampunk space opera, with Victorians in space.
Both were published in 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Apr 28

pfffft! No one goes into battle in their pajama bottoms!Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: Sorry, we can’t afford live models for this one. You’ll have to make do with the, “Barbarian Barbie & Ken With Stunned Horse” play-set.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.47 out of 10)
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Apr 11

Click for full image

Kelly’s Art Direction: Hmmm, a desert nomad with a magic ring and a crazed glare, an aged but fierce warrioress wearing chain-mail long underwear beneath a tunic slit to the waist, and a princely sort who seems to be counting on the other two to protect him since he hasn’t yet drawn his weapons…
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.47 out of 10)
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Mar 21

Ripped clothes, hairy armpits! BUT still time to put on lipstick eh!Click for full image

Rich Comments: I think the Black Lion may be that hair under her arm. It obviously offends Mr Swordy and he’s going to remove it in a rather dramatic fashion. What was said to the artist was something along the lines of, “Here honey, a nice new pack of crayons and don’t eat any of them. Do Mummy a nice book cover.”
Published 1979

Many thanks to Rich!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.94 out of 10)
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Mar 07

MAN KAT SEZ, BOW TIEZ R KEWL!Click for full image

Mr Cliftopher Comments: I can only guess that the only available artist was a 5 year old with some brand new crayons.
Published 1967
aka The Stars My Destination

Many thanks to the Cliftopher!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.98 out of 10)
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Oct 20

Please help... I can't stand drinking any more recycled urine!Click for full image

GK’s Art Direction: What do you mean you quit! You’re fired! I’ll have someone else finish the picture!
Published 1975

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.83 out of 10)
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Sep 28

DUDE! Your crotch is glowing like some greek god! Can you get a cream for that?Click for full image

New hi-def image

Stevie Comments: Jack Chalker’s Wonderland Gambit Book 2 is wild. That hot demonic guy with a massive glowing genital lesion doing who knows what to those dudes with the plumbing coming out of their heads. Who comes up with this stuff!
Published 1996

Many thanks to Stevie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.05 out of 10)
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Jun 07

I signed up to the order for this awesome staff. And got the halo for free!Click for full image

Don Comments: May the blessings of Saint Rubik be upon you.
John Melo for Baen Books, 1988

Heinlein Mondays? Might have to be.
Many thanks to Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.35 out of 10)
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Mar 16

Yeah, you look great, but your men are getting slaughtered behind you.Click for full image

Eighties cartoons are just fantastic, aren’t they. Wait a second… What if we go for that eighties look? Musclebound guy wearing strange straps which have no benefit and gold bracelets. Holding aloft his magic glowing scepter. No one is going to forget this cover anytime soon!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.24 out of 10)
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