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Apr 30

Cover Drinking Game No.1: Take a drink every time you see a cover with a women looking backwards showing off her bum. Guaranteed death!Click for full image

Rachel J Comments: No, my tagline is not stolen, and yes, my hair does have a life of its own. Now excuse me while I attack forty lens flares, a doorway, a glowing mist and a block of high-rise flats with my trusty katana.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.49 out of 10)
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Apr 05

Here we are again! It’s been a while for the old honourable mentions but it’s come to that time of year when a can of irn-bru and chocolate is considered an acceptable breakfast!

So if you are having a weekend off I hope you enjoy it and if not… well enjoy these covers that don’t quite make our high standards but we think deserve a special mention.

Have fun!

You don't want to see the new jedi order... It ain't pretty!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: I love Mark Hamill’s pose on this one. It’s got that, “Why are you drawing me?” Look.

Holy Crap Kid, that was one hell of a wind machine!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Well I like these three drawings you’ve done. I know! Lets just put them all together on the cover.

Anyone remember the film Critters?Click for full image

Matthew’s Art Direction: I want the scariest-looking monster that you can think of on the front!

This is my mother. We're very close. Isn't she sweet? And the best thing about her is: she can really take a punch. - What's Up Tiger LilyClick for full image

Stripey Baz Comments: I’m no purveyor of romance novels or indeed Norwegian literature, but I’m pretty sure that it’s not a good thing to have a mutton-chopped blaggard slap a fair maiden across her face. Given the angle that he’s standing at, his body must have twisted like one of those plastic toy action figures…

 

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.16 out of 10)
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Mar 20

The dangers of flying in a space golf course.Click for full image

Mangraa’s Art Direction: What? The cover is due TOMORROW? OK, um.. a planet, but make it space-agey. Like that Epcot ball thing, just don’t get us sued. Something new … vampire bat spaceship! Perfect. Slap some starbursts and a Jupiter on there, and we can get back to drinking.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.10 out of 10)
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Mar 19

I pick this women! Her body is 3/4 legs!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: We need to convey a Utopian future, so nothing represents that better than a pastel circuit-board Lego city with buildings encased in test tubes. Add a happy gorilla-headed torso man carrying a life-like unitard-wearing sex doll. Ooh, and lasers! And… and shoulder pads!
Published 1982
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.94 out of 10)
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Mar 15

Hurry up and take the bloody picture!! This is burning through my hand!!Click for full image

Frank Comments: In this one, we know which character on the cover is referred to by the title, because he’s the one grabbing the active element on his weapon. The mannequins would never do such a thing.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.31 out of 10)
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Feb 21

The harsh reality behind second hand book shops.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Honestly, I’m rooting for the rat.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.23 out of 10)
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Feb 20

What happens when your space chest shaver... goes bad!!Click for full image

Diggler’s Art Direction: What we need is a man in a hot tub doing some New Wave Impressionistic dance moves for his girlfriend on the video phone. Meanwhile we’ll have him being squirted by red dye for artistic effect… What do you think?
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.24 out of 10)
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Feb 07

It's like, how much more purple could this be? and the answer is none. None more purple.Click for full image

Joachim Comments:Man with heavy mascara, in a purple cloud, with a star, sparkling, under his eye…. Is paradise a purple cloud?
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.35 out of 10)
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Dec 19

Water's one weakness... light?AClick for full image

Art Direction: Wave… WAVE!?! Well there you go my boy, we have our answer right there. Let’s put a huge wave on there with a lighthouse and a helicopter to try and show some size perspective. I’m sure it will be all fine. And it’s day time so lens flare the hell out of that lighthouse. They run during the day right?
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.96 out of 10)
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Dec 09

Do you know how long it takes to slick my hair like this... hours. But I look fabulous!Click for full image

Jami Comments: Me giant floating head and shoulders of Demolished Man. Me crush tiny stereotypical Hammer film type female vampire and tiny floating head version of me. Then me play with all the pretty animals and the tiny naked women. Tiny clothed men can get moon dust out of my giant ear. Me have glowy thing above knuckle. Me love glowy thing.
Published 1978

Click for back cover here
Click for previous Demolished Man cover here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.75 out of 10)
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