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Aug 29

Well today is a bank holiday and I completely forgot about it. Almost got up to go to work! Almost…

So for all your enjoyment here is a few covers that I believe make the Honourable Mentions standard! Have a good holiday for those who remembered!

No! I said lets go get tanked... not lets go make ourselves some tank hats that we can't see out of!Click for full image

DarkZlorf Comments: I’m sure I left my tank parked around here?
Published 1979

I'm going to use my magic globe to see how the battle is going, instead of turning around.Click for full image

Completely stolen from the wonderful Awful Library Books, but because the top left is clearly a copy of Keith Parkinson’s Dragons of War, I thought it too good not to mention! Thanks to John for letting me know about it!

Paper Dolls... more manly than just dolls. Or at least, that's what I told myself.Click for full image

So I found this is in a touristy shop in the wonderful San Diego… paper dolls… what’s with that? Anyway, I had hours of fun recreating all my covers that day!
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.40 out of 10)
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Aug 24

Whatever happened to the shoulder pad... It used to be sci-fi's champion!Click for full image

Art Direction: We’ll have some guy looking like he’s in a furtistic space disco being attacked by a giant man with a glowing forehead. Why, you ask? Well, we all know psychic powers are clearly symbolised by a lens flare. Just like every sword is reflecting a magical light from somewhere making it go… TING!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.07 out of 10)
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Aug 23

Yep, I'm pretty sure the internet will have some of that somewhere...Click for full image

AdamK Comments: The notes on the back cover provide a stark warning that THIS vision of man’s mental bondage could have already begun!
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.03 out of 10)
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Aug 22

And you thought the Velociraptors from Jurassic Park were smart...Click for full image

Vincent’s Art Direction: So, put an enormous crab on the cover. And, what the hey, give him a knife. No, make it a dagger. Right, then have the sacrificial victim be a young woman lying beneath the knife….perfect, that’s it!
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.04 out of 10)
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Aug 16

That is the strangest stomach hair I've ever seen.Click for full image

Scott Comments: Listen, dude, I hate to interrupt your sword-wielding meditation, but your hairy little man is showing. Your “klesh,” your “ler,” whatever you call it…
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.31 out of 10)
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Aug 11

Thank god I shaved my arm pit hair today! How stupid would I have looked?!Click for full image

Jami Comments: I’m not witty, so here’s some man titty.
Published 1979

Click here for back cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.45 out of 10)
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Aug 09

I'm here kick ass and drink buckfast... and I'm all out of bucky...Click for full image

Brittney Comments: A kilt and a skin tight pink body suit? On the same cover? Really?
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.47 out of 10)
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Aug 05

Playboy Paperbacks - Providing the thoughts of the internet, before the internet!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: I want a sultry naked blonde chick right up front, but she should be part supermodel and part sasquatch. She’ll need tiny webbed talon paws, a foxtail, and wings- or maybe just one big wing! And throw in a little hot genie-on-genie action for good measure.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.78 out of 10)
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Jul 29

I learnt this one from Japanese teenagers...Click for full image

Art Direction: You know what I feel enhances any work of art… glow! Imagine the scene, two young lovers entwined in… tentacles… and around them a mystical blue glow to signify magic or possibly the sharing of deep feelings. Nah I’m just kidding, we all know what he’s going to use those things for. But the glow will enchance something I’m sure!
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.90 out of 10)
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Jul 26

Join us... at chess club... forever and ever.... and ever!Click for full image

Art Direction: Hey does your son still look like one of those no job free loading poetry reading jazz artists? Great! So does mine and they’ll make the perfect demonic children. We just layer it somehow to give that… demony feel.
Published 1966

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.03 out of 10)
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