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Apr 02

Only two honourable mentions for the long Easter weekend! Mainly because I have completely lost track of what’s in my inbox!

Good to be back and posting covers again, thanks to everyone for supporting me through the dark times! You all get a cookie!

HEY! GET OF ME TORTOISE! Click for full image

Piper Comments: It isn’t exactly fantasy/science fiction. It’s psychology. The longer you look the more insane it gets (E.G. Eagle heads in crystals).
Unknown published date

So much awesomeness! Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Unfortunately I never got to play this, I like to think it would be just as epic as the box art.
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.18 out of 10)
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Jan 04

Happy New Year!

Well another year is here, I am just about over my hang over and of course back in work! So it’s time to start again and see what exciting covers we can find to brighten our days. Last year didn’t see a cover which had the power to beat, I Sing the Body Electric. But maybe this year… maybe…

Thanks to everyone who has sent in covers and comments! You all bring such entertainment to our lives. And of course thank you to all those amazing publishers, without you and your art direction where would Good Show Sir be?

Last year was very exciting now that I think about it. And my quest for terrible Sci-Fi/fantasy book covers also led to the best conversation ever in a second hand book store.

Shop Assistant: Wow.. that cover is so bad!!!
Me: Yeah isn’t it? That’s kinda why I am buying it actually.
Shop Assistant: Really? Awesome. You should start some sort of website to show covers like these.
Me: I have…
Shop Assistant: ……
And nothing more was said. Here is the book I bought.

The top rated cover of the year:

Bum chins are well known for invading the rest of your face.Click for original post

A Personal Favourite:

The dangers of eating radioactive fish.Click for original post

CSA Chooses dragon crotch!

Carry On films did get a bit... odd...Click for original post

And of course, how could we not mention the cover that started a censoring legend:

I know space ships don't need to be aerodynamic but...Click for original post

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Apr 14

Ah the ole dragon crotch, I can give you a cream for that.Click for full image

Scot B’s Art Direction: OK, I see a redheaded woman wearing overalls, but still half-naked, being gnawed on by ghost wolves while a dragon explodes from her crotch. The dragon’s chasing a guy with a flaming orange on his jumpsuit. And a purple polka-dotted gnome fortune-teller! It’s a masterpiece I tell you! What’s that, you say the name of the book is what? Well, just throw a spiderweb around everything, that’ll work.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.94 out of 10)
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Mar 23

Don't point that gun at me! Look! The other balloon!Click for full image

Zycrow’s Art Direction:
“So the art director told me he needed hot air balloons and they needed to be badass. How am I going to do that?”
“Easy. Add spikes.”
“Oh, that’s good. Like how many? Three? Four?”
“All of them. All of the spikes. Oh, and a dinosaur, and some wolves. That oughta cover it.”
Published 1980

Many thanks to Zycrow!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.92 out of 10)
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Jan 21

I'll just put this Z&A here... there we go! See, it spells wizard!Click for full image

Tally ho! Well good chap I’ll have the one with swords and those smashing old wizards praising a big wolf in the clouds!
Published 2000

Hold on, we'll save the princess in a bit. I have a chance to look... awesome!Click for full image

Good show old bean, I’ll go for the one with double swords, a buxom beauty and a mighty cape. Spiffing!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.58 out of 10)
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Oct 15

I have been enjoying the delights of Helsinki this week and I have had a wonderful time. Well, except for the price of beer! 7 Euros for a pint! It makes me want to cry!

In honour I decided to search through a couple of the book shops here for the Finnish versions of some popular Sci-Fi and Fantasy. Some of them are just a little odd and a couple do make me laugh.

I hope you all enjoy these wonderful covers!

Am I supposed to be missing a finger?Click for full image

RunClick for full image

Well, we haven't gone off the map, more onto it.Click for full image

Its hard to see how badly photoshopped this one is.Click for full image

What luck.. they sent the blind soldiers after us.Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.87 out of 10)
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Nov 24

Up yours! I may be a wolfman but at least my legs don't have squiggles!Click for full image

You know the two things that make everything look fantastic? Glow and blur. The best photoshop tools money can buy. So we’ll have a glowing blurry tattooed man with a wolves head! And some girl with some glowly blurry transparency around her. Make sure the title is huge and don’t forget to blur what you can.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.70 out of 10)
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Nov 19

You all seem to be on fire. Here let me put you out with my sword! Ah HAClick for full image

A heavily armoured sword wielding knight on a metal horse attacks some smoking animals. Why are they smoking? For effect my dear boy! And possibly magic. Anyway, make sure those animals are mean! I want red eyes and snarls!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.57 out of 10)
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Oct 07

Screw you and your damn wolf! I have a fu*king dragon!!Click for full image

I want you to listen to me, very carefully! Wolf howls up to the sky while a dragon flies in the background with a knight on its back. Again in the foreground a bowl cut man stands, his hand grasped firmly and suggestively around his sword. If you want to see your family again you will draw what I tell you.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.31 out of 10)
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Sep 22

God, look at the dirt in this cave. It's like he just shits....he's behind me isn't he?Click for full image

I’m not one to stray from tradition. I’m talking about a dragon in the background, as black as…. uh… AC/DC? Peering at our antagonist will be a huge white wolf and her damsel companion holding the tiniest of flames. Remember, I am also talking traditional proportions here, so make sure nothing is sized relative to anything else. Now who’s up for some Hells’ Bells?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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