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Oct 08

I may be freezing and dying of hypothermia... but boy to I look good...Click for full image

Art Direction: We don’t need an artist! Have you seen what I can do with photoshop? Look, I can take this picture of Karen and… BAM… she’s blue! I know, hilarious right? And that’s not it, just cut and paste and… WHAM… she’s in a badly rendered icy landscape looking cold. Stick in the title and oh hold on, why is it behind her arm… Layers? Sounds like witchcraft to me. Finished!
Published 2004

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.25 out of 10)
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Oct 06

Best... musical.... ever....Click for full image

GK comments: Donkey Kong meets Short Round.
Published 1983

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.14 out of 10)
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Sep 30

No more beer for Yancy. He's moving the wrong pieces now...Click for full image

Ashton Comments: This accurately depicts the eponymous story, except I don’t recall the protagonist being described as the smuggest douche in the universe in an equally terrible shirt.
Published 1987

Many thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.93 out of 10)
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Sep 28

DUDE! Your crotch is glowing like some greek god! Can you get a cream for that?Click for full image

New hi-def image

Stevie Comments: Jack Chalker’s Wonderland Gambit Book 2 is wild. That hot demonic guy with a massive glowing genital lesion doing who knows what to those dudes with the plumbing coming out of their heads. Who comes up with this stuff!
Published 1996

Many thanks to Stevie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.05 out of 10)
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Sep 27

Mom, meet my new girlfriend.. Kim ear-nose for a face...Click for full UNCENSORED image

John’s Art Direction: No, see, boss, it’s not pornographic – it’s surrealism!
Published 1970

I give this a Bruce Forsyth and a Bullseye.
Many thanks to John!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.86 out of 10)
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Sep 21

Sweet Gwad! What's that raccoon doing to that rabbit!?Click for full image

George Comments: I feel as if there were drinking involved in the making of this design cover. Or drugs. Or rabies. I think this is what happens when clip art and Photoshop get used in the most horrible ways possible. EVERYTHING is horrifying in this cover. Does anything really need to be said? Just looking at this cover says it all.
Published 2009

Many thanks to George!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Sep 16

My PHD is in cosmicomics... yes... I did just make that up....Click for full image

Cliftopher’s Art Direction: Give me a dinosaur with a baby’s head. A freakin’ big dinosaur with a really little baby’s head. And while you’re at it put some kind of mountain like a man in the background.
Published 1982

Many thanks to Cliftopher!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.32 out of 10)
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Sep 15

She doesn't have to be naked. I just thought it would be funny to tell her she had to be.Click for full image

Ashton Comments: Usually when there’s a naked woman on the front of a book it’s to titillate the viewer, but this brave artist went against convention and made the most unappealing cover he could think of.
Published 1989

Many thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.23 out of 10)
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Sep 08

This is how big my skull should be, I suffer from tiny headitis.Click for full image

Sonya’s Art Direction: Instead of two views of wonder, how about a riot of color and image? Perhaps a plant for every short story in the collection? Oh, and throw in a Frida Kahlo lookalike holding a skull ala Hamlet to show that these are serious stories…
Published 1974

Many thanks to Sonya!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.68 out of 10)
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Aug 31

He may be the evil sorcerer Zog, but he can put on one hell of a fireworks show.Click for full image

Stevie Comments: Jack L Chalker’s Songs of the Dancing Gods cover is bizarre! Crazy wizards, super sultry fairy-women in red and green and a huge mack truck running thru everything. What’s all that crazy action supposed to tell the prospective reader?
Published 1991

Wow, thanks to Stevie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.83 out of 10)
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