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When you think of a daemonic ritual you think about, gold five pointed stars, lots of gargoyle creatures sitting around and a golden sparkle female rising up in a plume of golden magic with the sharpest of teeth, right? No? Well just draw it or you don’t get paid!

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Holy crap. We need something to distract from that bright silver font we’re using. So, how about a guy with an eye patch posing with weapons and a women doing the very same thing. Put a moon in the background, and by background I mean most of the cover.

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A collection of fantasy stories? Well I know what they’ll want. A huge barbarian with a ponytail swinging his axe at randomly placed wood. Hmm, you’re right, needs thickened out. Throw a stereotype wizard/fireball combination in there and some damsel with a sword.

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Thanks to Nix who says:

_Patterns of Chaos_ is a slightly famous book with a lot of amazing setpiece scenes which could have been used for the cover, starting with the destruction of entire planets, meticulously described, and ending with a transgalactic trip to a memorably unpleasant destination. If any book counts as overblown space opera, this one does.

So what did they use for the cover? A scowling cowled bloke, a weird plant, a badly-designed castle and a random number generator.

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NIPPLES? What’s this obsession with nipples going around at the moment? Well by heck, we will give them so many nipples it will burn their retinas. And semi-naked muscle clad men killing some sort of beast! Now if you thought that wasn’t manly enough, we’ll give them all tashes!

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I’ve been on that Good Show Sir site and I know everything at the moment is about nipples! Here my friend we will defy convention. Cleavage but no nipples. Also she’ll be kinda silver, jumping out of awful looking flames towards a star. Oh yea, consider that convention defied!

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Look, we need to appeal to both genders here. So we’ll have a male body fused with a female body from head to toe, in a kinda strange almost rubbery way. Obviously we’ll only show some cleavage because the last thing we’d want on there is a huge Johnson.

Thanks to Nix!

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So lets say we have a black man and I really mean black. We’ll have him dressed in white skin, with nipples, because without the nipples it would just look strange. I am sure we can fob it off as social commentary. As long as we have the nipples.

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Gwad Darn it, we know from experience realism sells! If you haven’t got some models to pose for you in costume it’s just not going to sell. We’ll grab their attention with a kid hiding behind a sword fighters cape. Then we can make it shiny…

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The great artists of our time had a formula were the human eye would automatically look to when presented with a work of art. At our point I know exactly what we need. A huge horses head, in pain as it gets speared by a crazed redhead.