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Dec 19

AH... so the Terrans are LARPER's then! Click for slightly larger image

Frank Comments: It’s hard to tell which ones are the Martians in this picture. They all look like some of that forgotten science was pharmacological and hallucinogenic.  And if you get too close to that guy in front, he’ll help you understand what a bad trip is like.
Published 1967

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.39 out of 10)
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Dec 17

Nipple tassels... essential armour for fighting pop icons. Click for full image

RX for Bilbiomancer Comments: No need for modesty sheep. Marilyn is wearing her white fox stole.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.53 out of 10)
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Dec 16

Stop censoring my giblets you dam dirty zebra lion!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Look out Liz… it’s a cross between a zebra and a lion… a deadly zebon! Oh really Liz, that’s a stupid name? Well lets see how stupid that zebon looks with a laser in his back! HIIYAAA!
Published 1977

Many thanks to Erin for sending this to us!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.95 out of 10)
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Dec 13

Excuse me sir, could you stop reading your book in public. The shine is blinding people.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Presumably the tagline refers to the title font and not to Mr. Pancake Ears here.
Published 2002

And that’s the end of, “Tom Noir Week!”
Thanks to Tom for all the covers, there’s still about a month more waiting!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.79 out of 10)
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Dec 12

Interpretive dance... the only way to talk to the mountain of light! Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Balzan, when your B.O. starts knocking out dragons, it’s time to take a bath. And I don’t mean by licking yourself.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.56 out of 10)
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Dec 11

Go out into space you said... get yourself a good tan you said... Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: In the future, everything will be needlessly complex and ridiculously over-engineered… except women’s clothing.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.52 out of 10)
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Dec 10

He maybe a bit of an undead Van de Graaff generator... but I love him.Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Here it is, this is gonna blow your minds: a hot babe getting felt up in an open grave! But make it black-and-white so we can slip it past the censors. Put some bats in there too. OH! And make sure the bats have boobs.
Published 1991 or 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.42 out of 10)
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Dec 09

This is my first experiment! Just wait till you see my second one! Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I see it looking like Jurassic Park, only more space-ship-ey.
Published 2006

I don’t have much time this week to go through the rigorous cover selection criteria…
So welcome, to ‘Tom Noir week’!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.83 out of 10)
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Dec 06

The universe's most elaborate chastity belt. Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:That key unlocks WHAT now??
Published 1993 or 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.47 out of 10)
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Dec 05

Hold on one second dude... look what's checking into the hotel... a black blob with a wizard stick!!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Well it’s a busy anthology so we should keep things busy on the cover. This is for Focus magazine… and we all know they only want one thing on their free book… mannequin cleavage! Just fill the rest with whatever you feel like.
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.45 out of 10)
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