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Apr 03

The destroyer of fleets, worlds, and bottles of single malt whiskeys.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: At last Jimmy Doohan gets a chance to have a story where HE’S the hero, instead of that bozo Bill Shatner!
Published 1997

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.95 out of 10)
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Apr 02

Is that a prehistoric unicorn!?!Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: You spilled your whiskey all over the cover art! No time to redo it. Just sponge it off and get it out the door. It has to be at the printer’s today.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Mar 28

Time to use this psychic communication crystal to call my insurance company.Click for full UNLEWISED image

Good Show Sir Comments: MANUFACTURERS WARNING! Crashing this space ship may result in a loss of all female clothing.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Chris!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.00 out of 10)
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Mar 27

Portraits in the future are wayyyyy more awesome!Click for slightly larger image

Rachel and Thomas Comment: Fun fact! Megalatemeskephalesigakertomesephobia is the actual Greek for the fear that a large decapitated head is silently sneering at you.
Published 2012

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.76 out of 10)
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Mar 21

"Simply Amazing!" - Writer's Best MateClick for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I brought in my favourite 90′s computer game. Just grab some stills from it and we’re good to go!
Published 2002

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Mar 20

I thought the mystical evil... would be less... loinclothy... Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: You want the backpack full of food? More clothes? What about the bag with guns? No? Ok… back in time you go!
Published 1981

Many thanks to Erin!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.89 out of 10)
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Mar 19

Blondes... the number one cause of erotic space crashes.Click for full image

OK OK we're lost... someone check the map for a giant naked woman.Click for full UNLEWISED image

Frank Comments: First we have The Star-Crowned Kings a Daw Books publication. I haven’t read it so don’t know what the lady-in-chain has to do with the story. But, I thought, she looks familiar, and I thought I knew where I’d seen her before: Up to the Sky in Ships, a NESFA Press collection of some of A. Bertram Chandler’s short stories.  Chandler and Freas were Guests of Honor at that year’s Worldcon, which was the occasion for the book. I guess it was thought that this would be offered to a more adult audience and so the model got to stand up for this painting, so we could all see that the lady-in-chain really is a blonde.
Star Crowned Kings published 1975
Up to the Sky in Ships published 1982

It’s dos-a-dos like an Ace Double and if you flip it over you see the cover for the other collection of shorts in the book, this one from Lee Hoffman.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.94 out of 10)
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Mar 12

I call the statue Salute to the Devil's Dumplings!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Good Show Sir Comments: He maybe a daemonic entity trying to steal my soul… but he really can sculpt!
Published 1983 (maybe)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.75 out of 10)
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Mar 11

Nothing sexier than a huge apple!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: When I said I wanted a New Model Army this is NOT what I had in mind.
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.58 out of 10)
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Mar 10

Ironically for a book taking sex to the max... Space Sheep isn't needed for censoring!Click for full image

Vincent Comments: To be fair, the cover blurb says that it is “different” and judging by the illustration, which I cannot even comprehend, I think that’s very fair.
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.04 out of 10)
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