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Aug 17

LOOK OUT! He's got a space fork!Click for full image

Erik’s Art Direction: This is a serious book about proving that aliens exist so I want a flying saucer landing in a barren wasteland, better jazz up the saucer, maybe stick a few satellite dishes on it. Now I want he alien to be wearing overalls but make them a bit more ‘out of this world,’ stick a big collar on it. Now hair, three words – Emerson, Lake & Palmer. To finish off make it look like he has just a stream of flaming urine down his legs.
Published 1977

Not Fiction (I think) but still great.
Many thanks to Erik!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.27 out of 10)
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Aug 16

It's too early to pretend to be funny, I'm just going to leave this here and get some coffee.Click for full image

Gus Comments: The eyes have it!
Published 1979

Many thanks to Gus!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.81 out of 10)
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Aug 13

God I love these 80's power bands!Click for full image

Ashton Comments: Uh, no comment.
Published 1982

Amazing find! Thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.91 out of 10)
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Aug 12

Gorack! Stop making sweet love to my throne and help be kill tiny people!Click for full image

Kevin’s Art Direction
Creative Director:
Ok, so here’s the deal.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: I want hands coming up from the fires of hell begging for tiny people, a big throne or something and possibly some random Greek god-type things laughing it up.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: The boss just saw Iron Eagle and totally dug the font on that one. OH! And he just bought a new helicopter, so if you could throw that in everything will be great.
Published 1987

Amazing find!
Many thanks to Kevin!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.82 out of 10)
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Aug 10

My cross seems attracted to your boobs...Click for full image

Tommi’s Art Direction: A bunch of barely dressed devil-types in a tornado, going after  the barely dressed voluptuous blonde (who probably twisted her ankle just a moment ago and has perfect hair) and a heavily muscled monk (in deranged wardrobe so you can see the muscles … oh and perfect hair).
Published 1983

Many thanks to Tommi!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.46 out of 10)
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Aug 09

Lipstick... really?Click for full image

Shelley’s Art Direction: We’re looking for a sort of lion-centaur. And a spaceship. And gore. And…could you do something with foreshortened perspective? Thanks.
Published 1977

That is… awesome.
Many thanks to Shelley!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Aug 06

Stars... how cliché. I wanted a double rainbow.Click for full image

Art Direction: We’re all women here and the book is written by women. Isn’t it clear what we need to have on here? A sky of dull looking stars surrounded by silver border. Oh wait… and a woman, who’s a bit pasty looking and has a earring to make all other earrings feel inadequate.
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.97 out of 10)
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Aug 05

Hamster? Gerbil? F*ck.. I don't know what he is either Officer Spider Creature.Click for full image

Nathan Comments: Timothy Zahn has a winner with the giant spider bouncy ball, peasant Tasha Yar, and a gopher mercenary? Oh and eye straining font!
Published 2006

Could this be a first? Man-gerbil?
Many thanks to Nathan!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.73 out of 10)
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Aug 04

Good god, there's a small planet above that building!Click for full image

Deborah Comments: Actually I think this is quite good, apart from the woman being none of the central characters – Heris is black, Lady Cecilia’s a redhead, Bubbles is blonde.  But the COLORS are a little unsubtle!
Published 1995

Click here for the previous Winning Colours cover.
Many thanks to Deborah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.91 out of 10)
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Aug 03

Nooooo cruel world! Why didn't I evolve with opposable thumbs!?Click for full image

Audes Art Direction: Hey, we need dragons. What, no dragon art available ? Slap that one from the bunch we’ve licensed for cheap with the… what ? Anthropomorphic weapon-wielding lizards, yeah, nevermind that there aren’t any in the boo…  Oh, and some snazzy font, you know, one of those that scream fantasy or sci-fi, whatever, make it bright and bold.
Published 1992

Many thanks to Aude!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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