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Jul 27

You have mighty claws yet you choose a stick to defend yourself?Click for full image

Sarah’s Art Direction: So there’s this guy, right? And he’s a lobster. But not really a lobster! Just has a lobster body. Uh, and really skinny arms. And he’s got a parrot for a sidekick, but get this — the parrot is a lobster, too! You getting all of this down, Steve? Ooh, maybe thrown in one of those “Manamanah” things from The Muppets, too. People love those.
Published 1978

Lets just see who that killer crab from the other day really is!
Many thanks to Sarah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.18 out of 10)
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Jul 26

Nooooo not like this... not like this....Click for full image

Carolyn Comments: You can probably analyze this better than I! I assume the artist just read the jacket blurb.
Published 1977

“Imagine: Gorilla-shaped bismuth junkies who stack their dead ancestors like cordwood in the living room; gentle souls who can touch with a touch or a thought.  A throwback fiefdom on a planet where huge poisonous bats rule the night sky, where serpents the size of semi-trailers slither though the rotting jungle.  A sarcastic mansized beetle that’s a Talmudic scholar and swears like a longshoreman. And claims to be immortal. All in a life’s work for Otto McGavin: Prime Operator for the TBII, undercover guardian of the rights of aliens and humans under the Confederacion.”

Mmm… uhh… seriously? That snake doesn’t look too happy.
Outstanding! Good Show Carolyn!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.93 out of 10)
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Jul 23

 

Ow ow OW! Flying this is actually incredibly uncomfortable!Click for full image

Art Direction: I looked, and there before me was a pale Pegasus! It’s rider was named Martin, the local high school geography teacher.
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.75 out of 10)
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Jul 22

AH HA! Take this giant head!Click for full image

Miss.. please stop strangling my griffin with your extra long thighs!Click for full image

Dude, of the many things I could question. What's up with your fingers?Click for full image

David Comments: It took me a long time to notice that the naked red man with spikes on his feet and a horn in his forehead is holding his sword in a rather odd way.
Published 1973, 1974 & 1975

Many thanks to David!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.93 out of 10)
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Jul 21

I gave him the snips.. mu ha ha ha HA!Click for full image

Rod Comments: Killer crabs. Look, there’s a picture too. Surely this spares us having to read the shity thing?
Published 1978

I have a cream for that…. I’ll get my coat.
Many thanks to Rod!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.62 out of 10)
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Jul 20

But if I am dreaming, why do I need a microphone?Click for full image

Neil Comments: May Day May Day, we have a situation up here. At least I think Im in an aeroplane, maybe its some tech suit. Either way I think we should concentrate on a wolf coming out of the clouds.
Published 1990

Many thanks to Neil!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.85 out of 10)
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Jul 19

Sorry, I only date guys with gills.Click for full image

Tommi Comments: The blurb on the back translates as: “… Where Sturgeon, LeGuin, Heinlein and Russ where merely scratching the surface in their attempt to appropriately represent human sexuality in Science Fiction, David Gerrold is digging a deep shaft.” No comment, really, apart from, maybe – uuurgh.
Published 1978

Nice speedos!
Many thanks to Tommi!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.30 out of 10)
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Jul 16

Yet another relationship abomination.Click for full image

Art Direction: Look, I’m telling you there is NOTHING more erotic than a naked women with an over-sized insect. Hold on a second who are those guys? What are they doing with a straitjacket? Hey, get off me. Wait, it’s still a good idea, I swear…. draw it… and remember meeeeeeeeee!
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.43 out of 10)
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Jul 15

I will seduce you with my powers of... interpretative dance!Click for full image

Brian’s Art Direction: What makes vampires scary? Exactly: it’s their lack of proportion. It’s their slightly big heads and taste for late-80s haircuts. Imagine a vampiress Bonnie Tyler. Get to it.
Published 1989

Many thanks to Brian!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
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Jul 14

Stop that, you'll go blind!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Okay, this book is heroic Celtic fantasy, but the question is how do we sell it to the ladies?  I’ll tell you how: full frontal nudity.  What do you mean we can’t – okay, fine.  Throw some strategically placed splashes over it to please the censors. But just so people get the picture, fill the remaining cover space with pictures of swords.
Published 1993

Seriously, why do all these guys shave their body hair?
Amazing! Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.76 out of 10)
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