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Jul 01

Lets not kill him, lets see if he digs my Deep Purple riffs first.Click for full image

Don Comments: OK, we’ve seen tons of perms and oodles of mullets on these covers – but I do believe this is the first permed mullet.  (Pullet?) Assuming that’s the eponymous Bard whose Tale this is, he’s apparently not the brightest light in the harbor, since he a) agreed to accompany his hairdresser on a thieving expedition from an albino lizard-man (do such things EVER end well?) and b) misunderstood her when she said she wanted him along to carry the loot.
Published 1993

Many thanks to the Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.24 out of 10)
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Jun 30

I find this frightening....Click for full image

Dahne Comments: I haven’t read the title story, so it is possible that before writing epic deconstructions of swords-and-knights fantasy, George R.R. Martin wrote about flying swarms of disembodied sexy lips invading from across the ocean. You really can’t pigeonhole the guy.
Published 1976

Uh….uhhh….
Marvelous! Thanks to Dahne.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.77 out of 10)
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Jun 29

God dam furry vultures.... wait a second....Click for full image

Jessie Comments: DUDE. GIGANTIC ALBINO KILLER VULTURE. Does anything else need to be said? Does it really matter if there’s anything else in the picture?
Published 1976

Many thanks to Jessie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.70 out of 10)
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Jun 28

In space no one can hear you varrrrooooooom!Click for full image

Rod Comments: Monochromatic red? Hardly kaleidoscopic when describing this gang unidentifiable flying bike objects.
Published 1979

Who wouldn’t want a space bike?
Many thanks to Rod!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.46 out of 10)
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Jun 25

I'm sorry my darling, the hair straighteners are dead. We'll need to get a new one.Click for full image

Art Direction: Sometimes I just would love a big hug from a hunky man with some steroid induced muscles. He would hold me while I sit brooding on a stone floor with the epic backdrop of snow covered mountains. So lets draw that. Except, don’t draw me. Best put some women there instead.
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.44 out of 10)
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Jun 24

I can't see out of this thing, make sure the waiter brought my cake!Click for full image

Lauren Comments: This cover does in fact show a scene from the book, but I think maybe there could have been a better choice. I look at this cover, and all I can say is: What??  If you haven’t actually read the book, it makes no sense at all.
Published 1988

Awesome hat!
Many thanks to Lauren.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.22 out of 10)
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Jun 23

Stop dancing around and help me hide this body!Click for full image

Andy Comments: The art department obviously wanted to cram as much as possible in (even though this is apparently the second novel in a trilogy). I wouldn’t be surprised however if it was an image ripped from the text. I really like the bloke standing on the ear of dragon – it seems to go well with the tag line.  The spaceship is supposed to be vivid purple (the first line of the book) but is obviously out-done in the purple stakes by the dragon.
Published 1995

Ah the days of… yellow jeans…
Many thanks to Andy!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.63 out of 10)
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Jun 22

Welcome to this lovely planet, here's my cloak of DAEMONS!Click for full image

Sarah Comments: This cover raises a lot of questions. Are those pointed shoes? What’s up with his hands? Do all “galactic Machiavellis” keep the souls of deceased dinosaurs in their cloaks? Why does he look as though a slight breeze would knock him over?
Published 1973

Leggings and a dinner suit. Good look!
Many thanks to Sarah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.92 out of 10)
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Jun 21

Lets not fight, in fact here. Have my wife.Click for full image

Rose Comments: Let’s see what you have here.  We asked for a road…yes, well done.  And some people in elf suits.  And a really big, really stupid–oh…wow…
Published 1979

Another Heinlein, what fun!
Many thanks to Rose!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.31 out of 10)
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Jun 18

God I need to sit down, I've been carrying my boobs around all day.Click for full image

Liz’s Art Direction: Draw some buxom witch types in tight revealing outfits having a tea party.  Throw in a weird muscle bound werewolf creature for good measure and have them all sit / stand around drinking tea out of some china cups. That should do it. Everyone reads these for the stories anyway.
Published 2009

Thanks to Liz and Simon who both sent this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.95 out of 10)
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