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Jun 15

I smell something fishy....Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: This is a humorous novel about an interstellar diplomat.  He’s suave, he’s debonair, and everything in the book’s played for laughs.  So we want a horrific tentacle-headed, four-eyed, jelly-legged alien leaping at him with a spear.  And we can’t afford the tux rental, so just use whatever your model’s wearing when he comes over from his rehearsal of A CHORUS LINE.  But add some muscles!  Retief is a two-fisted guy, no doubt with mighty thews!  We don’t know what “thews” are, actually, but we’ll know ‘em when we see ‘em and by God he better have ‘em!  THEWS!
Published 1983

So it’s comedy. But it’s not a joke on the genre. That’s ok right?
Awesome! Thanks the Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.71 out of 10)
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Jun 14

Sir, amongst others. Buddha and Sammy Davis Jr are orbiting the planet.Click for full image

Borkworm Bas Comments: This is a pretty early Heinlein cover which I quite like. Heinlein has fairly precise descriptions of the characters in the book including Oscar, the spacesuit. These descriptions are as faithfully depicted as possible by Steele Savage who obviously read the book or at least the descriptions. The plot is a bit strained but the relationship between a boy and his space suit is choice.
Published 1958

Gah! More floating heads!
Many thanks to Bookworm!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.55 out of 10)
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Jun 11

And here is your blind date, Shelgrangormoth the Third.Click for full image

Shira Comments: My partner discovered this book at the Friends of the Library Book Sale in Ithaca, NY. With my love of mushrooms and her love of cheesy sci-fi, we had to have it, of course!
Published 1973

A brilliant picture out in the wild!
Many thanks to Shira!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.65 out of 10)
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Jun 10

Susan! Stop posing dramatically and help me catch our dinner!Click for full image

Art Direction: We all know from popular science fiction when one is stranded on a planet we loose clothing. It always ends up with a women in a mere bikini watching a man in a spear fight with some sort of daemon creature. Always! So draw it kinda like Robinson Crusoe… except with more breasts. And aliens.
Published 1983

Thanks to the Legend Dave R!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.83 out of 10)
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Jun 09

Worst date ever... and you call those flowers?!Click for full image

Richard Comments: I recently bought some books from the wonderful (and charming) Gwyneth Jones. Gwyneth’s site you should have a look; she gives the money less p&p to Amnesty and her books are tremendous. She signed the book with the message requested, but had also written notes about the cover art. In this one, “This delicious cover is my own fault, I talked to the artist. Never do that!” Not entirely sure what’s going on, though – it seems that Ben Affleck has really pissed off that woman.
Published 1997

First floating heads, now full bodies!
Many thanks to Richard!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.81 out of 10)
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Jun 08

HOOJ FLOATIN HEAD KAT DEMANDZ CHEEZBURGER!Click for full image

Jessie Comments: The marks to the left of the floating cat head are my fault – they’re scratches from when i was ripping off the $1 used book price tag.
Published 1978

I think the scratches are the least of this covers problems!
Many thanks to Jessie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Jun 07

I signed up to the order for this awesome staff. And got the halo for free!Click for full image

Don Comments: May the blessings of Saint Rubik be upon you.
John Melo for Baen Books, 1988

Heinlein Mondays? Might have to be.
Many thanks to Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.06 out of 10)
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Jun 04

I come from planet Ron. A dirty area right under his nostril.Click for full image

Sarah’s Art Direction: Look, I know it’s 4:30 on a Friday, but surely you can come up with something.

Many thanks to Sarah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.68 out of 10)
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Jun 03

What can I say, the camera loves me.Click for full image
(
To The Stars: Homeworld)

Javier’s Art Direction: How about a slightly hunched, skinny, pasty white guy with a furry mustache and a laser gun that goes beep standing in front of an orange city?

Tom Seleck in space?
Click for full image
(To The Stars: Wheelworld)

Too tired, in a rush, he's probably shooting the wrong way anyway.Click for full image
(To The Stars: Starworld)

Suspiciously good “photos”… Excellent though!
Many thanks to Javier!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.75 out of 10)
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Jun 02

Like the great aurora borealis, the eternity brigade neon sign sweeps the sky.Click for full image

Lauren Comments: The colors on this are just so awful. And spike heels? But at least she’s not in a fur bikini. Although he appears to be having some wardrobe malfunction with his shirt.

At least he doesn’t have a mullet!
Thanks to Lauren!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.30 out of 10)
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