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Apr 07

Click for full image

Eron Comments: This cover is particularly appalling because of it’s simplicity. We get the text: Unicorns. Peace. Then the image: Unicorn. Twilight. BIG ORANGE Unicorn. Castle. Sure. Also, it seems to me that something is wrong on the perspective on the unicorn… it’s sort of falling on it’s side if I’m seeing it correctly?

Many thanks to Eron!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.60 out of 10)
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Apr 06

I hate these family photos, there's always the scary uncle in the corner.Click for full image

I love the realism, so we’ll definitely have to get that on there. In fact I think we should tone it down a little. We’ll keep it simple so it’s not too bad (and almost like it’s creeping up on its prey) then WHAM! We’ll hit them with a gold black red title banner!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.62 out of 10)
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Apr 02

Wrong... just wrong...Click for full image

Nothing – and I mean nothing – attracts readers more than naked children. What.. why are you looking at me like that? Why are you leaving? Guys? Guys?

Thanks to Dave R – The ever-living!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Apr 01

And now for the real cover:

Click for full image

You might remember seeing this previously on Good Show Sir: Sunrunner’s Fire

Stutzman comments: So here is the Australia cover for that very same book (found in a used bookstore in the US), which is hideous beyond words.  Same general elements: dragon, wizardly dude in robes, rocks. The execution, however… oh, my eyes.

Thanks very much to Stutzman!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.63 out of 10)
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Apr 01

It's like a party in my eyes and they are bleeding... bleeding.

Art Direction: Hold on a second, I’m just finishing my morning bourbon. Alright lets see, could we get naked women with impressive cleavage? What about a man with a laser sword fighting off some cat people? No? Man you are picky. How about a t-rex travelling through time eating historical figures?  In fact that’s brilliant… get Roberts to re-write this thing!

Hideous... simply hideous!Art Director: Sweet lord. What is this… what have you given me?
Artist: Uh, a flying city and some storm clouds.
Art Director: Now come on, I have it on record Amory requested a naked man wrestling a man tiger, both wearing bondage gear.
Artist: Was… that in the book? Who the hell is Amory?
Art Director: Stop asking technical questions and draw or you don’t get your curly wurly!!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 1.90 out of 10)
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Mar 31

Good Show Sir, good show!Click for full image

NoiselessPenguin Comments: I tried to make a list of what’s wrong with this cover, and stopped when I realised: EVERYTHING.

Thanks to NoiselessPenguin, I’ve never laughed so much!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Mar 30

Moooooom.. the homosexual ghost is checking herself out in the mirror again.Click for full image

Tamsym comments: Found in a charity shop on the Isle of Wight, I’ve been looking for a home for this baby for six months. It’s got all the hallmarks of a classic: nipples – check; vacuous expression – check; absolutely no relevance to the title – check.

I’m not saying ghosts can’t be gay, mind. But you have to wonder about the plot arc, eh?

Thanks so much to Tamsyn!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.45 out of 10)
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Mar 29

I cast my level 4 summon fish spell.Click for full image

Rex’s Art Direction: Okay, gaudy covers are out, minimalism is in! So let’s see, what shall we put on this cover… a fish! Yes, a fish, that’s right, I’m sure they live in forests, right?

Thanks to Albertosaurus Rex!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.12 out of 10)
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Mar 26

It's like that sitcom... the racist one....Click for full image

Black in Time? Seriously? Alright then. Well I think we should artistically avoid the whole race issue and simply have a huge group of people from every background floating mid space stretching backwards into the earth. And some faces of the main characters, with an hour glass imposed on them. Somehow though, I think it’s not going to take away from the title.

Thanks to the Legend Dave R!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.91 out of 10)
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Mar 25

No! That isn't how you use chopsticks!Click for full image

What if we go for something that’s kind of a cross between art and an eighties music video? We’ll have flaming eye balls and some women with retro make-up playing with her magical sticks. Then just pack any text at the top and if we can, make it like an ancient scroll banner. Classy.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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