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Apr 02

Is that a prehistoric unicorn!?!Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: You spilled your whiskey all over the cover art! No time to redo it. Just sponge it off and get it out the door. It has to be at the printer’s today.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.44 out of 10)
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Mar 12

I call the statue Salute to the Devil's Dumplings!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Good Show Sir Comments: He maybe a daemonic entity trying to steal my soul… but he really can sculpt!
Published 1983 (maybe)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.75 out of 10)
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Jul 08

John! Stop looking at his muscular thighs and help us!!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: What have you done to me, you monsters? I can’t lower my arms! I CAN’T LOWER MY ARMS!!
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.66 out of 10)
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May 20

The thing about Scottish Terrier People... a bit gropey...Click for full image

Piper Comments: Coughed-up hairball or sad attempt at a wookiee?
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.52 out of 10)
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Mar 22

Even death won't stop high street charity collectors... Click for full image

Jon H Comments: I like how the angry old muppet is about to just SLAP that woman.
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.48 out of 10)
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Mar 08

1960! Only 95% sexist!Click for full image

Frank Comments: Now here we have an example of how to punch up a work by giving it a new title and new cover art.  The story is from 1950, and was previously published as “The House That Stood Still”.
Published 1960

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.06 out of 10)
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Mar 05

Everyone knows cyborgs are instantly attracted to the Ting! of high heels!Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: Face off between the Man with the X-ray eyes and the Invisible Woman, I like what I DON’T see!
Published 1964
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)
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Feb 16

SPACE HIPPO!!Click for full image

Collette’s Art Direction: I envision floating elderly embryos, spaceships, and armed jungle animals before a crimson sky! Hmm… maybe we should put that in a small box on the cover, because now that I say it out loud, it sounds kind of crazy.
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.96 out of 10)
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Apr 14

Ah the ole dragon crotch, I can give you a cream for that.Click for full image

Scot B’s Art Direction: OK, I see a redheaded woman wearing overalls, but still half-naked, being gnawed on by ghost wolves while a dragon explodes from her crotch.  The dragon’s chasing a guy with a flaming orange on his jumpsuit.  And a purple polka-dotted gnome fortune-teller!  It’s a masterpiece I tell you!  What’s that, you say the name of the book is what?  Well, just throw a spiderweb around everything, that’ll work.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.99 out of 10)
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Dec 17

Yep... children's programs are definitely being written on more LSD than normal.Click for full image

Artist: What ya want chief?
Art Director: Ever seen a baby staring at bright flashing colours or the TV? Well draw that type of face! Except floating disembodied through space.
Artist: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit taking amphetamines.
Published 1990

You might remember me from here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.85 out of 10)
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