Good Show Sir

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Look I know it’s unusual but I want an actual lynx. It doesn’t stand up like a human, it doesn’t hold some sort of laser rifle, nor does it appear from a space ship. I just want it pouncing across the cover with a princely guy in a white cape leaping with it, while he grasps his sword. That’s not as cheesy right?

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Some artists define a generation: Picasso, Michelangelo, Paul Klee… I want you to be inspired by their works and create something for me. Think of these things: hookers, cats, bats, stereotype vampires, a real man with long cheesy hair holding his long sword. And to make it art, we place them all…. between worlds! Together, my friend, we will define the next generation!

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Two words for you…. pirates vs kinky police officers. Well you know what I mean! Have the officers in long knee highs and holding a large batons. Have a large magic beam hitting a stereotypical pirate in the chest and him grimacing in pain. It’s almost too perfect.

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You know the two things I love: big bosomed women and lizards. Have them woven in an epic battle, lizard versus women as she tries to slice at it with her magical blade. Don’t go all crazy on me though, concentrate on the boobs.

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A huge hunky man with bulging muscles and a loincloth that just about covers his ass with a sword symbolically hanging down from it. Oh and have him holding a huge spear with his taught sweaty arms.Wait – better make this a little less fabulous – add in a dragon that he might be about to kill… or seduce….

Thanks to CSA!

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Remember how sweet Blade was? With all his black clothes, long trench coat, his cool body armour, his array of silver stakes and the mean emotionless yet cheerly philosophical face? Better make him caucasian just to be on the safe side.

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OK, I’m spinning my cover creator wheel and its landed on, volcano… good. Spin again… horse-riding knight. OK, I’m throwing the action dice and it’s landed on… being eaten, nice. Another spin… T-REX, sounds awesome! In the background we will have a… prison wall and… a guard post.

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Remember Arthurian legend where the magical pixies danced around Excalibur while some young redheaded wench reached out to grab the sword from a ghostly but awesome beard-wielding king?  No? Well, that’s what I want, and you’re not getting out of those damn chains till you draw it!!!

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Musketeers are sooo awesome… Could we get one on the cover, drawing his sword, with some huge glowing red energy eminating from the blade which in turn is revealing a guys evil green eye and obvious evil twin goatee?