Good Show Sir

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Art Direction: Look it will just be like every cover you have ever seen but this time… they’re cat people! They’ll have everything a cat would normally have like fuzzy hair, cat mouths, pointy ears but no tails. Tails, I think would be a step too far! We don’t want people to be too embarrassed when they buy it!
Published 1983

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Jeweleya Comments: This cover is so off-putting to me that I can’t bring myself to read the book.  A few highlights -

• The sword dissolving into blue dust
• The barbarian’s barely-decent rags (it’s refreshing that the woman is wearing more than the man, for once)
• The utterly generic, swirly, rainbow-threw-up-on-it background
• And my personal favorite: the horse that looks like it’s just been flung backwards from a giant slingshot

…Indeed, a cover for the ages.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Jeweleya!

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Kevin’s Art Direction
Creative Director: Ok, so here’s the deal.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: I want hands coming up from the fires of hell begging for tiny people, a big throne or something and possibly some random Greek god-type things laughing it up.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: The boss just saw Iron Eagle and totally dug the font on that one. OH! And he just bought a new helicopter, so if you could throw that in everything will be great.
Published 1987

Amazing find!
Many thanks to Kevin!

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Johannah’s Art Direction: Okay, two words: Cat People! Yes, again. But this time we’ll have five of them surrounding a naked guy with a mustache. The one in front will be pointing a gun and the one next to him will be holding a futuristic mobile communication device. And let’s throw in a few of those aliens from the Mos Eisley Cantina for good measure. What’s that sound? Are you crying? Look, those art school loans aren’t going to pay themselves off. Just get painting already.

Awesome cover, excellent rug!
Thanks to Johannah!

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Richard’s Art Direction: Ok, I want the devil playing chess on a life-size board with warriors from different periods of history.  Don’t forget to throw in a few other random characters, at least one man must clad in leather and a scarf and find a spot for a woman in a bathing suit with a parasol.  Then make it from the perspective of an opposing chess piece.  Yeah, those should all come together nicely.

Excellent! Thanks to Richard!

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I’m speachless. I asked you for a mermaid, riding a merhorse on an ocean wave with a rainbow coming out of her back. But this… this is so much more. A picture like this should be kept in the Louvre.

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Word association game: say the first two words that come into your head when I say “Sci Fi”. Laser guns? WRONG! It’s cat people! Eat your words! Though, lasers… not bad actually.  Add them in with some weird cloaked alien holding a gun. Might help distract from the fact we have friggin’ cat people on there.

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I’m really not sure about what I want… So how about some weird horse-camel type creatures, something that would make The Great Lucas proud! Don’t forget to add a terrible landscape, an awful off planet sunset, and some people pointing a huge antenna to the sky.

Art direction: So let’s have one guy, all white, in the middle of a group of (let’s say) some “darker coloured” elves. Have one of them looking at him very carefully pondering the question, “Is he the pretender?”