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Jun 23

Stop dancing around and help me hide this body!Click for full image

Andy Comments: The art department obviously wanted to cram as much as possible in (even though this is apparently the second novel in a trilogy). I wouldn’t be surprised however if it was an image ripped from the text. I really like the bloke standing on the ear of dragon – it seems to go well with the tag line.  The spaceship is supposed to be vivid purple (the first line of the book) but is obviously out-done in the purple stakes by the dragon.
Published 1995

Ah the days of… yellow jeans…
Many thanks to Andy!

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neaaa, I\'ve seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It is somewhere in between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just Awful...I swear, that\\\'s my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Rating: 6.00 out of 10)
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Apr 30

Well it’s reached that time again were here in the UK we are blessed with bank holidays!  So for those like myself who will be relaxing with an extra long weekend, here are some honourable mentions.

These covers break our explicit and hard kept rules, which are enforced with an iron fist. These are part of a franchise (this time of adventure choice novels), but nonetheless each of them sports an excellent cover so I hope you enjoy them.

Also just to say thanks to everyone who has been sending me in covers! We’ll slowly get through them all so keep an eye out and I promise they will appear at some stage.

Have a great weekend for those benefiting from it!

To face the evil rabbit turn to page 8
To run away turn to page 57

Before I kill you could you lift me onto my horse? This armour is pretty heavy.Click for full image

No seriously, green, completely makes you look more menacing.. hahahahahaHA!Click for full image

My robo crotch is exploding!Click for full image

They are the most evil triangle cuff-links I have ever seen.Click for full image

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neaaa, I\'ve seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It is somewhere in between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just Awful...I swear, that\\\'s my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Rating: 5.62 out of 10)
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Apr 15

These collections of books were submitted by Eron Rauch. Thanks to Eron for making my day full of Icelandic volcano ash that little bit easier! Check out Eron’s site www.eronrauch.com which shows off some of his great photography, some of it also brilliantly nerdy!

That's no moon...Click for full image

Eron Comments: The first of three in this series. I mean, how else do I explain it more than the title “Camelot in Orbit”, except I don’t really understand logic of the title, since they seem to be on another planet. I guess technically that planets are in orbit, but that’s rather redundant. Also, King Arthur seems to be riding a beaked dinosaur that is so pathetic that He-Man would be caught near it. I mentioned that before right? A fecking armored dinosaur.

Who would have thought, Merlin.. a carebear!Click for full image

Eron Comments: The second in the series, I think, I mean it’s hard for me to care really, but this cover is passably bad until you notice the creepy-as-sin inbred ewok/mogwai knock-off sitting just to the bottom left of the girl. Staring. Into your soul with hollow black eyes. Seriously the stuff of nightmares.

HEY! How come the ash from that burning doesn't ground that space ship... grrrrrr!Click for full image

Eron Comments: The third in this utterly original series. Which features “Magick” with the added “k” which must mean serious fantasy is about to be had! In addition, we get a phenomenal rendering of the back of some random knight and a severely constipated dragon trying desperately to crap himself in terror at the War of the Worlds spaceship blowing the hell our of it’s castle with a laser that comes from nowhere.

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neaaa, I\'ve seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It is somewhere in between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just Awful...I swear, that\\\'s my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Rating: 7.70 out of 10)
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Mar 23

Ah ha, my dear. Your skills are lacking, but your light bloom confuses my blonde mind.Click for full image

Chess? I’m sure that’s interesting and all but that gives me nothing to work with. No wait.. it does. Pink! Pink everything up, go for the windowed look, and make sure there are lots of things blurred slightly by the light. Maybe they’ll miss out on the chess part completely!

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neaaa, I\'ve seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It is somewhere in between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just Awful...I swear, that\\\'s my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Rating: 5.08 out of 10)
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Jan 11

Man, I must look awesome. Pity I'm not actually charging at anyone.Click for full image

Nothing says, ‘I’m one hundred percent pure man,’ than a glowing sword, blonde curtains and a cape with some red velvet lining. We’ll have him charging towards the reader on his horse, waving his sword and smiling manically. Make sure the fonts have at least three layers of bordering!

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neaaa, I\'ve seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It is somewhere in between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just Awful...I swear, that\\\'s my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Rating: 4.59 out of 10)
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Nov 10

You have no idea how uncomfortable it is to carry arrows around like this...Click for full image

You know what I love about Ireland? All the dwarfs, the mysterious dark riders on horses, the barmaids that insist on carrying a bow and arrow with them, the extreme landscapes and, of course, the rainbows so I know where to find my pot of gold. We should turn that into a cover someday, my boy.

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neaaa, I\'ve seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It is somewhere in between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just Awful...I swear, that\\\'s my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Rating: 6.06 out of 10)
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Oct 12

I told you this was a great idea, we both look way more awesome up here.Click for full image

Two fine gentlemen sir! Both of them wearing only the finest rappels royalty can buy. On top of the highest castle tower pointing into the distance in ponderous thought.  Leaving the viewer with a single thought, ‘Health and safety ain’t great in this castle.’

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neaaa, I\'ve seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It is somewhere in between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just Awful...I swear, that\\\'s my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Rating: 3.43 out of 10)
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Sep 17

HAAHAHAH FOOLS! Laser beats spears! Owned!Click for full image

Art shouldn’t be confined to one side of a book, so span it across front AND back! And I am talking full-on epic here. Guy carried by a lizard horse dragon thing, shoots his laser at… wait for it….. dwarfs with spears riding on the backs of kangaroos! It will be a Sci-Fi craze! I’m sure it will just be as popular as man-tigers… Ahahahaha……………..

Thanks again to Chris R! You’re a legend!

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neaaa, I\'ve seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It is somewhere in between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just Awful...I swear, that\\\'s my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Rating: 8.92 out of 10)
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Aug 20

I hope you know how long it took us to prefect this pose!Click for full image

Look I know it’s unusual but I want an actual lynx. It doesn’t stand up like a human, it doesn’t hold some sort of laser rifle, nor does it appear from a space ship. I just want it pouncing across the cover with a princely guy in a white cape leaping with it, while he grasps his sword. That’s not as cheesy right?

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neaaa, I\'ve seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It is somewhere in between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just Awful...I swear, that\\\'s my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Rating: 5.21 out of 10)
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Aug 07

Shifting between worlds to get a hooker! ohhhh Yeaaa..God I love my powersClick for full image

Some artists define a generation: Picasso, Michelangelo, Paul Klee… I want you to be inspired by their works and create something for me. Think of these things: hookers, cats, bats, stereotype vampires, a real man with long cheesy hair holding his long sword. And to make it art, we place them all…. between worlds! Together, my friend, we will define the next generation!

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neaaa, I\'ve seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It is somewhere in between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just Awful...I swear, that\\\'s my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Rating: 7.40 out of 10)
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