Good Show Sir » castle http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk Only the worst Sci-fi/Fantasy book covers Tue, 07 Feb 2012 09:00:40 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 The Little People http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2011/07/the-little-people/ http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2011/07/the-little-people/#comments Wed, 20 Jul 2011 08:25:04 +0000 admin http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=4262 Yep that's Ireland alright... full of bondage obsessed Nazi gnomes!Click for full image

Grady Comments: I’m disappointed, to be honest. The back of the book says, “They speak German. They carry whips. And they are connected in some mysterious way with Nazi experiments carried out in the charming old Irish castle during World War II.” Meh, I’ve seen more charming Irish castles.
Published 1968

]]> http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2011/07/the-little-people/feed/ 27 Ellison Wonderland http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2011/06/ellison-wonderland/ http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2011/06/ellison-wonderland/#comments Tue, 21 Jun 2011 08:20:36 +0000 admin http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=4172 OK kids who wants to go to Ellison Wonderland? No one?!? Well... yea... too much LSD there.Click for full image

Matt Comments: Whatever is going on in Mr. Ellison’s mind, if that’s who the gent on the cover is supposed to be, it seems to involve a Tattooiene-esque castle while he speaks of an alien feigning submission in a bespoke suit.  Perhaps too much spicy pizza before bed?
Published 1974

]]> http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2011/06/ellison-wonderland/feed/ 12 A MisterBob Mega Post http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2011/04/a-misterbob-mega-post/ http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2011/04/a-misterbob-mega-post/#comments Fri, 22 Apr 2011 08:22:17 +0000 admin http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=4022 It’s that time of the year again where people might just get a longer weekend! And that usually means an honourable mentions but unfortunately I have been pretty ill this week and have been sitting with some soup while watching TV and reading a few books!

Anyway, instead I give you a MisterBOB mega post! He’s sent in enough covers to start a book shop so here’s a few to keep your weekend going! Enjoy your holiday weekend!

DAMN this computer! This is not the p0rn I wanted!Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: A spaceman looks out his window and see’s the face of GOD!
Published 1986

Funny.. I remember wanting to do that exact thing to the railway children when having to read it in school.Click for full image

MisterBOB comments: Please, do not show that teenagers can time travel by putting a plastic bag on their head.
Published 1989

It's the punk unicorn!Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: A Particolored unicorn, so start with where the horn is, as the rest is just a horse…
Published 1987

]]> http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2011/04/a-misterbob-mega-post/feed/ 12 In the Empire of Shadow http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/06/in-the-empire-of-shadow/ http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/06/in-the-empire-of-shadow/#comments Wed, 23 Jun 2010 08:33:31 +0000 admin http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=2832 Stop dancing around and help me hide this body!Click for full image

Andy Comments: The art department obviously wanted to cram as much as possible in (even though this is apparently the second novel in a trilogy). I wouldn’t be surprised however if it was an image ripped from the text. I really like the bloke standing on the ear of dragon – it seems to go well with the tag line.  The spaceship is supposed to be vivid purple (the first line of the book) but is obviously out-done in the purple stakes by the dragon.
Published 1995

Ah the days of… yellow jeans…
Many thanks to Andy!

]]> http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/06/in-the-empire-of-shadow/feed/ 15 Honourable Mentions 4 http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/04/honourable-mentions-4/ http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/04/honourable-mentions-4/#comments Fri, 30 Apr 2010 09:08:40 +0000 admin http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=2449 Well it’s reached that time again were here in the UK we are blessed with bank holidays!  So for those like myself who will be relaxing with an extra long weekend, here are some honourable mentions.

These covers break our explicit and hard kept rules, which are enforced with an iron fist. These are part of a franchise (this time of adventure choice novels), but nonetheless each of them sports an excellent cover so I hope you enjoy them.

Also just to say thanks to everyone who has been sending me in covers! We’ll slowly get through them all so keep an eye out and I promise they will appear at some stage.

Have a great weekend for those benefiting from it!

To face the evil rabbit turn to page 8
To run away turn to page 57

Before I kill you could you lift me onto my horse? This armour is pretty heavy.Click for full image

No seriously, green, completely makes you look more menacing.. hahahahahaHA!Click for full image

My robo crotch is exploding!Click for full image

They are the most evil triangle cuff-links I have ever seen.Click for full image

]]> http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/04/honourable-mentions-4/feed/ 12 Camelot Collection http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/04/camelot-collection/ http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/04/camelot-collection/#comments Thu, 15 Apr 2010 10:26:51 +0000 admin http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=2396 These collections of books were submitted by Eron Rauch. Thanks to Eron for making my day full of Icelandic volcano ash that little bit easier! Check out Eron’s site www.eronrauch.com which shows off some of his great photography, some of it also brilliantly nerdy!

That's no moon...Click for full image

Eron Comments: The first of three in this series. I mean, how else do I explain it more than the title “Camelot in Orbit”, except I don’t really understand logic of the title, since they seem to be on another planet. I guess technically that planets are in orbit, but that’s rather redundant. Also, King Arthur seems to be riding a beaked dinosaur that is so pathetic that He-Man would be caught near it. I mentioned that before right? A fecking armored dinosaur.

Who would have thought, Merlin.. a carebear!Click for full image

Eron Comments: The second in the series, I think, I mean it’s hard for me to care really, but this cover is passably bad until you notice the creepy-as-sin inbred ewok/mogwai knock-off sitting just to the bottom left of the girl. Staring. Into your soul with hollow black eyes. Seriously the stuff of nightmares.

HEY! How come the ash from that burning doesn't ground that space ship... grrrrrr!Click for full image

Eron Comments: The third in this utterly original series. Which features “Magick” with the added “k” which must mean serious fantasy is about to be had! In addition, we get a phenomenal rendering of the back of some random knight and a severely constipated dragon trying desperately to crap himself in terror at the War of the Worlds spaceship blowing the hell our of it’s castle with a laser that comes from nowhere.

]]> http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/04/camelot-collection/feed/ 21 The Chessboard Queen http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/03/the-chessboard-queen/ http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/03/the-chessboard-queen/#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 09:38:13 +0000 admin http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=2200 Ah ha, my dear. Your skills are lacking, but your light bloom confuses my blonde mind.Click for full image

Chess? I’m sure that’s interesting and all but that gives me nothing to work with. No wait.. it does. Pink! Pink everything up, go for the windowed look, and make sure there are lots of things blurred slightly by the light. Maybe they’ll miss out on the chess part completely!

]]> http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/03/the-chessboard-queen/feed/ 10 Oath of Gold http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/01/oath-of-gold/ http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/01/oath-of-gold/#comments Mon, 11 Jan 2010 09:46:00 +0000 admin http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=1744 Man, I must look awesome. Pity I'm not actually charging at anyone.Click for full image

Nothing says, ‘I’m one hundred percent pure man,’ than a glowing sword, blonde curtains and a cape with some red velvet lining. We’ll have him charging towards the reader on his horse, waving his sword and smiling manically. Make sure the fonts have at least three layers of bordering!

]]> http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2010/01/oath-of-gold/feed/ 12 The Giant of Inishkerry http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2009/11/the-giant-of-inishkerry/ http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2009/11/the-giant-of-inishkerry/#comments Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:54:37 +0000 admin http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=1350 You have no idea how uncomfortable it is to carry arrows around like this...Click for full image

You know what I love about Ireland? All the dwarfs, the mysterious dark riders on horses, the barmaids that insist on carrying a bow and arrow with them, the extreme landscapes and, of course, the rainbows so I know where to find my pot of gold. We should turn that into a cover someday, my boy.

]]> http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2009/11/the-giant-of-inishkerry/feed/ 13 Kings Shield http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2009/10/kings-shield/ http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2009/10/kings-shield/#comments Mon, 12 Oct 2009 09:06:34 +0000 admin http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=1141 I told you this was a great idea, we both look way more awesome up here.Click for full image

Two fine gentlemen sir! Both of them wearing only the finest rappels royalty can buy. On top of the highest castle tower pointing into the distance in ponderous thought.  Leaving the viewer with a single thought, ‘Health and safety ain’t great in this castle.’

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