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Mar 19

Blondes... the number one cause of erotic space crashes.Click for full image

OK OK we're lost... someone check the map for a giant naked woman.Click for full UNLEWISED image

Frank Comments: First we have The Star-Crowned Kings a Daw Books publication. I haven’t read it so don’t know what the lady-in-chain has to do with the story. But, I thought, she looks familiar, and I thought I knew where I’d seen her before: Up to the Sky in Ships, a NESFA Press collection of some of A. Bertram Chandler’s short stories.  Chandler and Freas were Guests of Honor at that year’s Worldcon, which was the occasion for the book. I guess it was thought that this would be offered to a more adult audience and so the model got to stand up for this painting, so we could all see that the lady-in-chain really is a blonde.
Star Crowned Kings published 1975
Up to the Sky in Ships published 1982

It’s dos-a-dos like an Ace Double and if you flip it over you see the cover for the other collection of shorts in the book, this one from Lee Hoffman.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.86 out of 10)
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Mar 11

Nothing sexier than a huge apple!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: When I said I wanted a New Model Army this is NOT what I had in mind.
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.48 out of 10)
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Mar 10

Ironically for a book taking sex to the max... Space Sheep isn't needed for censoring!Click for full image

Vincent Comments: To be fair, the cover blurb says that it is “different” and judging by the illustration, which I cannot even comprehend, I think that’s very fair.
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Feb 27

Texas was an all man state... till those darn girls all arrived!Click for full image

Simon W Comments: The blurb says “The women had taken over by 1998!” and, “Read the results in Richard Wilson’s unique, tongue-in-cheek, highly risible novel. It’s science fiction with a Woody Allen twist!”
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.28 out of 10)
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Feb 25

Well look at that... it's awkward uncle o'clock!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about THAT.
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.40 out of 10)
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Feb 17

Come on T-REX! Tell us whose ass looks better!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Look out Jeff, we’ve got a T-Rex… and he doesn’t look impressed with my one-piece body suit.
Published 1975

Many thanks to Erin for sending this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.65 out of 10)
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Feb 14

"I'm leaving my kingdom to you cat." Said the crazy elf unicorn lady.Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Alright, with this book we’re targeting that often over-looked pre-teen girl fantasy market. What do pre-teen girls like? Cats and unicorns. Wait! I have it. There’s a girl, but she’s also a unicorn! What do you mean that doesn’t make sense? Make it happen! Oh, and make sure she has a cat.
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.76 out of 10)
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Feb 11

At least you have leggings... all I have is this rodent bondage gear!Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: Boobs and some teddy bear creature ready to defend her honour, but keep it real – furry rodents need sunglasses.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.26 out of 10)
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Feb 07

Amazingly impractical fantasy sword... check!Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: With this cover, it’s the little things. Such as ‘Her right hand has a weak grip on the handle.’ And ‘The bat on the pommel would make it hard to sheathe the blade.’ And ‘Goodness, is that MY face?’
Published 2013

Back cover blurb here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.61 out of 10)
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Feb 05

Sorry there's a lack of space squids on this one.Click for full image

Simon W Comments: Low budget is an overstatement on this one. Four photos and a bit of fiddling with exposures. Looks like a 4th form art project done by someone studying science.
Published 1967

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.27 out of 10)
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