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Mar 05

Well, we fired the baby at them. Do we have any more? No? Time to surrender.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:
“Our toddlers will blot out the sun!”
“Then we will fight in the shade!”
Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.97 out of 10)
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Jun 13

No... I don't like your ship... it's just too small! I could barely fit on it... I'll wait for the next sea captain to fall in love with...Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: Thar she blows! Oh, sorry ma’am. Mistook you for the Leviathan!
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.89 out of 10)
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Dec 04

You know... you guys could help instead of barely pulling, riding your purple unicorn or even.. STANDING... on it!!Click for full image

GK Comments: Room for another unicorn somewhere?
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.97 out of 10)
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Jul 20

Luckily for you... I brought the brightest candle in the world!No larger image available

Alessandra’s Art Direction: I want a couple of giant kids, way too big for the architecture they’re in. I want the architecture to be real crazy, too, to make no sense in terms of scale or perspective or anything. Make the kids skinny, but make their heads real big and make sure the girl has lots of eye makeup and styling mousse. Dress ‘em in brightly-colored vaguely medievalish clothes like you see on Robin Hood on TV, or at Medieval Times or something.
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.03 out of 10)
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Feb 08

I look suspiciously like the wizard from two days ago...Click for full TOP-SHELF image

Claire’s Art Direction: Hum, riders on the wind.  Well obviously lots of wind in a pretty colour, and a rider – I know, a naked chick with body tats.  Throw in some standard fantasy stuff, like a castle and a wizard dude et voila!
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.14 out of 10)
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Feb 06

Wizards, well known for their harp riffs.Click for full image

Alessandra Comments: There’s a failure of perspective in the building.  Where exactly is it supposed to be?  Is it falling down?  How big is it? Oh never mind, just keep your eyes on the guy in the bright purple Renaissance fair outfit.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.27 out of 10)
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Jan 16

Stage magicians get all the chicks...especially when they have a horse.Click for full image

Alessandra’s Art Direction: I want the main characters looking soulful, or at least sulky.  I want the woman on the left missing her frontal lobes, but balance it out with piles of sausage curls on the woman below.  Give the woman on the right a freakishly small body and no flesh on her arms, no ribcage, in fact no anatomy at all.  Dress them in brightly colored Renaissance fair castoff costumes — don’t forget the purple!  Oh, and put in a horse because you do them so well.  Make its wings as sloppy as you like; we’re going to cover them with the title anyway.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.89 out of 10)
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May 19

No... don't sing a whole new world! It will summon death!Click for full image

Matt’s Art Direction: Fabric! I want to see lots of fabric. And hands, lots of dramatically posed hands. And least one bare breast, only you’ll have to conceal the nipple with something. How about a cross?
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.25 out of 10)
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Apr 22

It’s that time of the year again where people might just get a longer weekend! And that usually means an honourable mentions but unfortunately I have been pretty ill this week and have been sitting with some soup while watching TV and reading a few books!

Anyway, instead I give you a MisterBOB mega post! He’s sent in enough covers to start a book shop so here’s a few to keep your weekend going! Enjoy your holiday weekend!

DAMN this computer! This is not the p0rn I wanted!Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: A spaceman looks out his window and sees the face of GOD!
Published 1986

Funny.. I remember wanting to do that exact thing to the railway children when having to read it in school.Click for full image

MisterBOB comments: Please, do not show that teenagers can time travel by putting a plastic bag on their head.
Published 1989

It's the punk unicorn!Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: A particolored unicorn, so start with where the horn is, as the rest is just a horse…
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.85 out of 10)
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Feb 22

Haven't a clue what to say, it's flamboyant? haha, no wait, that's not a joke. Eject... eject...Click for full image

Tim Comments: Hot babe fairy queen, standing on slime-mold covered stairway to nowhere. Add in super-wussy fairy dude, you gotta feel for him, they put him in quite possibly the worst costume of all time. And the photo doesn’t do justice to the garishness of the blue background and orange border. And of course lots of different fonts.
Published 1985

Many thanks to Tim!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.18 out of 10)
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