Good Show Sir

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Liz’s Art Direction: We’d like for you to use some cats on this cover.  Not just any old cats no, we want one that is sized up enough to be able to carry a human.  In furs.  And randomly in the background, give us a horse drawn sled too. Oh, and to illuminate the picture, throw in a random lamp somewhere…and the biggest sickle moon in the world, ever.
Published 2000

Ah Cat travel, the only way to break the speed of light. Or so I have read.
Many thanks to Liz!

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Jessie Comments: DUDE. GIGANTIC ALBINO KILLER VULTURE. Does anything else need to be said? Does it really matter if there’s anything else in the picture?
Published 1976

Many thanks to Jessie!

These collections of books were submitted by Eron Rauch. Thanks to Eron for making my day full of Icelandic volcano ash that little bit easier! Check out Eron’s site www.eronrauch.com which shows off some of his great photography, some of it also brilliantly nerdy!

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Eron Comments: The first of three in this series. I mean, how else do I explain it more than the title “Camelot in Orbit”, except I don’t really understand logic of the title, since they seem to be on another planet. I guess technically that planets are in orbit, but that’s rather redundant. Also, King Arthur seems to be riding a beaked dinosaur that is so pathetic that He-Man would be caught near it. I mentioned that before right? A fecking armored dinosaur.

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Eron Comments: The second in the series, I think, I mean it’s hard for me to care really, but this cover is passably bad until you notice the creepy-as-sin inbred ewok/mogwai knock-off sitting just to the bottom left of the girl. Staring. Into your soul with hollow black eyes. Seriously the stuff of nightmares.

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Eron Comments: The third in this utterly original series. Which features “Magick” with the added “k” which must mean serious fantasy is about to be had! In addition, we get a phenomenal rendering of the back of some random knight and a severely constipated dragon trying desperately to crap himself in terror at the War of the Worlds spaceship blowing the hell our of it’s castle with a laser that comes from nowhere.

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The great artists of our time had a formula for where the human eye would automatically look to when presented with a work of art. At that precise point I know exactly what we need. A huge horse’s head, in pain, as it gets speared by a crazed redhead.

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Two fine gentlemen sir! Both of them wearing only the finest rappels royalty can buy. On top of the highest castle tower pointing into the distance in ponderous thought.  Leaving the viewer with a single thought, ‘Health and safety ain’t great in this castle.’

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Word association game: say the first two words that come into your head when I say “Sci Fi”. Laser guns? WRONG! It’s cat people! Eat your words! Though, lasers… not bad actually.  Add them in with some weird cloaked alien holding a gun. Might help distract from the fact we have friggin’ cat people on there.

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Edward kindly sent this into us! Thanks very much for keeping us all laughing and giving us something really nerdy and exciting to talk about!

Please check out Edward’s webpage at: http://www.edwardwillett.com/

Yours,
Good Show Sir

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Right, we’re in a recession, we need a cover that sells! Hmm, all black cover? You, sir, are fired! We need exploding cities in the midst of being attacked.  A woman in a yellow and black striped catsuit, no wait… an alien woman! She can be holding a dagger while she peers into the foreground, completely ignoring the chaos behind her. If that doesn’t sell I’ll jump right out that window.

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Remember Arthurian legend where the magical pixies danced around Excalibur while some young redheaded wench reached out to grab the sword from a ghostly but awesome beard-wielding king?  No? Well, that’s what I want, and you’re not getting out of those damn chains till you draw it!!!

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Picture this – A well built guy (and I mean Muscles From Brussels material) showing off his golden helmet, wearing his skimpy purple briefs, holding a long hard wooden spear… and riding on top of his large pink dragon. What do you mean that’s what the Internet is for?